A Friday Funny

I didn't have time to write a "real" post, but I found a few things that made me laugh. First, though, I have to say book jokes are either a) impossible to find, or b) horribly lame.

Still, I was able to find two bookish jokes that not only tickled my funny bone but also involved chickens. I'm not sure how adding chickens to books is a logical joke formula, but it works for the two funnies I've presented below.

The first, taken from this site, is an oldie but a goodie. Yeah, it's corny. Whatever.

A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them...and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.

Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say, 'Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives it to them. The chickens leave as before.

The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!' The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them.

She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit..."

Finally, this "savage chicken" cartoon made me giggle even harder. The crossing is within. So true!

National Poetry Month

In honor of April being National Poetry Month, I signed up for a poem-a-day via Poets.org. Each morning a new poem has arrived in my inbox - not a bad way to begin the day! Go here to sign up for yourself.

Admittedly, not everything I've received thus far has tickled my "awe bone," and many poems receive a cursory read before being deleted. The following poems, however, I just can't bring myself to delete.

I hope you enjoy them.

"Alpha Zulu", by Gary Lilley

"Just", by Alan Shapiro

Long is the way, and hard, that out of darkness leads up to the light

Dead Star Twilight
Chez Pazienza

I've just had the honor of being the first person to have ever reviewed Dead Star Twilight, the self-published memoir by Chez Pazienza, author of Deus Ex Malcontent.

Dead Star Twilight is a frenetic, wild ride that describes the true-life downfall and resurrection of the author. It's insane, it's debauched, it's frequently disgusting -- and if it didn't make Chez look like a piece of shit I'd doubt it was true. Thankfully, Chez has firmly closed the door on that period of his life, and his description of these dark days is both touching and entertaining.

Click here to read the review, which is posted over at Pajiba, and be sure to check out Deus Ex Malcontent when you're finished.

In a nutshell: I think that if I ever [..........SPOILER REMOVED..........] I would have taken that shit to my grave.

Bibliolatry Scale: 5.5 out of 6 stars

She walks, she talks, she’s full of chalk

Soldier's Heart: Reading Literature Through Peace and War at West Point
Elizabeth Samet

How do you convince an eighteen-year-old cadet that poetry has any relevance to his life? Poetry seems pretty unimportant in the face of roadside bombs and suicide bombers. Hell, I have a hard time justifying poetry to my eighteen-year-old students, and none of them will ever come close to Iraq. So I read Samet’s Soldier’s Heart with a special interest, although one does not need to be an English teacher to enjoy this memoir.

Soldier’s Heart consists of a collection of essays on a variety of topics involving war, women, religion, sacrifice, and, of course, literature. Over the course of the work, those unfamiliar with West Point Military Academy deepen their understanding of the institution, as Samet seeks to extinguish the stereotype of "West Point as a kind of modern-day Sparta, where training and discipline trump creativity and independence of mind."

Samet, who has been an English professor at West Point Military Academy for ten years, discusses her struggle to develop creative, independent thought in cadets who are trained to think as a group, not as individuals. She proves that cadets are not automatons capable of only obedience; they are intelligent, thoughtful, and often philosophic young adults facing a very uncertain future. Literature helps them wade the murky waters of right and wrong, duty and disobedience.

Included in her discussion of her own approach to teaching literature (reviving along the way my interest in Wilfred Owen, the oft-overlooked poet of WWI) are anecdotes about life at West Point itself, such as the “knowledge” each new cadet must spend his (or her) summer memorizing. For example, if stopped on campus, a plebe must answer the question, “How’s the cow?” with the reply, “She walks, she talks, she’s full of chalk, the lacteal fluid extracted from the female of the bovine species is highly prolific to the nth degree.” It’s anecdotes like these that really make Soldier’s Heart intriguing.

I'm full of what?!? Go ef yourself.

I must be honest and say that, my own background in teaching literature notwithstanding, it was not the discussion of literature that made me enjoy Soldier's Heart. True, these sections were interesting and revived my interest in several authors and works that I've been meaning to look at again, but these parts were secondary to the human portraits that people the pages.

Samet paints clear, often touching, portraits of young men and women who are frequently intimidated by the future that awaits them. The lessons that they take from both their experiences and the literature they read can teach us all. It's not a perfect book; I'll admit to skimming some parts that quite frankly didn't pique my interest, but I don't perceive the military in the same way as I did before reading Soldier's Heart.

In a nutshell: An interesting perspective on the importance of literature in the face of war, but, even more importantly, it proves the extent to which literature affects the life of every individual.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

Is it so wrong...

...that, even though I know how it will all end, I still want Anna and Vronsky to be together? Ugh, could they be any cuter?!?

Maybe I should just stop reading now and retain my romantic illusions. Sigh.

As you can tell, I'm really enjoying Anna Karenina; thanks to all who voted for it. It's slow going, but utterly enthralling.

When I finish I'd like to watch a film version...I know there's several out there - can anyone recommend one?

It's too early to do the title thing

Beautiful Children
Charles Bock

My review on Bock's Beautiful Children is up at Pajiba, so click here to read it.

In a nutshell: A solid debut novel: not perfect, but better than you might think.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4.5 out of 6 stars

Well the beginning was pretty good

Amnesia Moon
Jonathan Lethem

I was immediately intrigued upon reading the summary of Lethem’s Amnesia Moon, so much so that I ignored my earlier disappointment in his Fortress of Solitude, which I found to be well written but nevertheless disappointing. (Besides, Amnesia Moon was discounted and only cost three bucks. Three bucks + intriguing summary = Lethem gets another go.)

Here’s the summary that hooked me:

Since the war and the bombs, Hatfork Wyoming is a broken-down, mutant-ridden town.

Wait, hold up. Do I hear mutants? In a post-apocalyptic world? I'm already sold, brother! But, for the sake of being complete, I’ll provide the rest of the summary that so captivated me:

Young Chaos lives in the projection booth in the abandoned multiplex movie house, trying to blot out his present, but unable to remember his past. Then the local tyrant Kellogg reveals to Chaos over a can of dog food that the bombs never fell. The truth, in fact, is a little more complicated…

So Chaos gets behind the wheel of an automobile and, accompanied by a fur-covered female,

Um, did you say fur-covered people?! AWESOME. It’s gotta be good, right??

too obvious?

sets out onto the empty highway on a journey to the edge of his American nightmare: in search of a missing identity and a stolen love.

Ok, so they had me at fur-covered mutants. What can I say? I like mutants, I like books about the end of the world, I like nightmares, I like fur. So I began Amnesia Moon full of hope, a schoolgirl skipping home from the last day of school across a field of daisies.

And let me tell you: the beginning was pretty damn good. It had promise, I tell ya. Sure, I was a little pissed that the aforementioned fur-covered female appears to be the ONLY mutant in the entire novel. But otherwise, I was digging it.

Furthermore, Lethem’s vision of a post-apocalyptic world (while not necessarily offering up anything new) was nevertheless entertaining. Fans of Phillip K. Dick will also enjoy the many allusions and nods to several of Dick’s novels.

Unfortunately, it all went nowhere. Lethem sets up a very interesting premise, one that, if only developed a little bit more, could have made for a very powerful book. Instead, it seems as if he reached the 200-page mark and said, “Fuck it! I’m ending this bitch NOW.” And off he sends everyone into the sunset. Literally. Trust me: I’m not spoiling anything. Actually, I lied. It might have been a sunrise. But I think you get my point.

In a nutshell: Intriguing, but much of it lacked development, and a better resolution wouldn't have hurt, either. But he writes so well, dammit. I wish I liked his stuff more.

Bibliolatry Scale: 2 out of 6 stars