Kristen Stewart and Katniss = BFF forever

Catching Fire
Suzanne Collins

So it took me forever to read this book because I refused to read anything but the Kindle edition, since that's how I read The Hunger Games. And because Scholastic and Amazon had some kind of pissing contest over the digital version, I couldn't read it until now. Snore.

Anyway, I loved the first book; this one, not so much. Perhaps it was due to the super-long delay? Perhaps. Or perhaps Katniss was just super-annoying this time.

Here's the entire book in short form:

Gale. Peeta. Gale. Peeta. Oh, shit. The president hates me. GaleGaleGale. Peeta. Peeta. Gale. PeetaPeeta. Problems that are a bit more important than this silly love triangle. Gale. Peeta. Peeta. End of book.

AND THEN because Katniss was so annoying I couldn't help but picture Kristen Stewart in her role and then the whole thing went to hell.

you have no idea how long this took me

In fact, Kristen Stewart would seem the ideal person to play Katniss, since all the both of them do is bitch and moan. To be fair, though, Katniss is living under an oppressive regime while KStew is just oppressed by the ravages of fame. Yawn. Go bathe in your millions.

In a nutshell: Not as great as the first, but I'm still looking forward to the third and final installment.

Bibliolatry Scale: 3.5 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Personal kindle edition

The Harris chick done got me good

Dead Until Dark
Charlaine Harris

Reasons why I should hate Sookie:

1. Sookie? SOOKIE?

2. ugh, simplistic writing!

3. ugh, simplistic characters!

4. Speaking of which, Sookie has the intellectual capacity of moldy cheese. (She decides to have sex with Bill WHEN???? And WHERE is the best spot for this adventure???? Sookie, just jump in front of a bus, please. I mean, REALLY.)

5. Every character seems like a joke.

6. SookieSookieSookie

However, I couldn't hate this book. I tore through it while I was on vacation. On a cruise. When I could have been eating, drinking, partying, etc. Also: Eric. And, the simple writing makes for a fast read.

(Don't get me started on the show, though. Even though I'm enjoying it, every friggin male looks like his hair's been cut with a chainsaw, and Anna Paquin's jacked up teeth are horrifically mesmerizing. But: Eric.)

Oh, yeah: Sookie's a telepath and there are some murders and some vampires and by the end of the book the murderer is caught and blah blah blah blah.

In a nutshell: So bad, but sooo good.

Bibliolatry Scale: What in the hell do I give this? A 2? (Under normal circumstances, yes.) A 4? (It was enjoyable enough.) Okay, then: 3 out of 6 stars. For what it's worth.

FTCBS: Sigh. Personal copy. BUT BUT BUT it came from Walmart, so it was only like 5 bucks. BOOYAH!

In case you're interested: Book 2, Book 3, Book 4

mmmmm pie

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

Every once in awhile, a lovely little book comes along that charms and delights. Such is Guernsey.

Juliet Ashton is a writer covering the Second World War and its aftermath. One day she receives a letter from a member of the Guernsey you-know-what society, she plans to write a novel on the war's effects in Guernsey. Soon, the inhabitants of this small island are flooding Juliet with their stories. Typical small-town folk abound: the nice-but-awkward Dawsey, the mean ol' church lady, the fiesty spinster.

Guernsey is a nice little epistolary novel that provides a good story (if a bit predictable) and enchanting (if a bit one-sided) characters. Such a story in another's hands might have felt cloying or oversweet. However, while some aspects of the novel seemed almost too good to be true, the novel doesn't fail to captivate: once I started it, I couldn't put it down.

In a nutshell: Sweet but not overbearing, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society is a lovely little delight.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4.5 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Personal copy. Sigh.

to the Winchester!

The Forest of Hands and Teeth
Carrie Ryan

This review's gonna be a fast read -- just like this book.

Ok so Mary lives in a village surrounded by the Unconsecrated (aka brain-eating zombies) and soon her (gulp) marriage will be upon her (it's all their good duty to have lots of un-unconsecrated babies) and meanwhile all she can do is wonder was the ocean is like and will she ever see it.

[Pssst. Hey, Mar. The ocean? Full of sand. (Said sand gets all up in your pants. Literally.) And there's sun. (If you're like me, said sun will burn you to a crisp.) And there's jellyfish. (Which are just gross.) Plus you'll have zombies. So, the ocean? Get over it.]

Anyway, the book:

GOOD: Zombies! Angst! Zombies! BRRRAAAINNSS

BAD: Protag was a bit too angsty. You're living in the zombie apocalypse: stop whining about your crush, already. Also, there were a few loose ends that weren't tied up, although they might better be resolved in the second novel, The Dead-Tossed Waves.

BEST: A fast-paced, gripping read read that was perfect for my treadmill. (I read the Kindle version, obvi.)

In a nutshell: Taut and entertaining, TFoHaT takes a look at those who fight to survive under what might be the most disturbing of circumstances.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: I got the Kindle version for this, thankyouverymuch!



PS: The title to this post comes from my favorite zombie flick and not this novel. (Although, to be fair, going to the Winchester and having a nice cold pint sounds better than visiting a zombified ocean.)

The long, mostly interesting (but very long) passage

The Passage
Justin Cronin

Oh, The Passage. I loved it, I hated it, it drove me insane.

Let's break those reactions down a bit, shall we?

ADORE
The best part of The Passage? The beginning. The reader knows shit's gonna hit the fan, but it takes awhile to hit. No problem: the buildup is the best part. Meanwhile, the characters in the first third are complex, interesting, and sympathetic, and the plot is tight and fast-paced. At this point in the novel, glowing vampires virals couldn't tear me away from the book.


SNORE
...that is, until I hit the middle, when anything bright and/or shiny could distract me from reading. At this point, the shit has met the fan, mess = everywhere, and people are fighting for survival. Except that each fight is soooo drawn out and -- dare I say it? -- BORING. (How can fighting deadly creatures be boring you ask? Trust me, it's possible. Had the novel been condensed by, oh, maybe 300 pages, I would have gotten jiggy with it.*) Also, there are SOOOO many characters and many of them are alike, making it hard to differentiate between Dude A who hates vampires and Dude B who hates vampires. The characters who did stand out, meanwhile, weren't terribly likable and/or interesting, with only one or two exceptions.


LAKDJFAKORE
Finally, other aspects of the novel drove me insane. Like, Alicia. We're told again and again (and again) how tough she is, how she's such a badass blah blah blah and how she NEVER cries. And then, once we're introduced to these "facts," she cries in NEARLY EVERY SCENE she's in -- all the while saying "don't tell anyone I'm crying." SHUT UP ALREADY, YOU BIG BABY!

Note: this crybaby is WAY more entertaining than Alicia. LOL FOREVER

Ultimately, The Passage was OKAY. I'm glad I got the Kindle version rather than the hardback. I'll probably read the second and third installments; even though I don't really care about the characters, I'm interested in seeing where this is headed.

In a nutshell: Good, boring, then okay, The Passage makes vampires scary and interminable.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars (I almost did 3.5, but am feeling charitable; take this rating with a grain of salt.)

FTCBS: personal Kindle version, mwah ha ha ha ha ha




*why yes, apparently it IS 1997, thank you very much

Layout fun

So Blogger has added some nifty layout options, and now -- the day has come at last -- when Bibliolatry can boast a three-column layout.

now we are so happy, we do the dance of joy!

So what do you think? Is the old layout preferable? Anything I should improve? What changes have you made recently?

The Classics Circuit: Agatha Christie

The A.B.C. Murders
Agatha Christie

I don't read much mystery, especially Agatha Christie -- I read And Then There Were None when I was 12 -- so I was glad when the Classics Circuit gave me another reason to read her.

I settled on The A.B.C. Murders, because it seemed to have serial-killer potential, and those types of mysteries hold more interest for me than the "gah someone stole my diamonds!" type.

It all begins when Inspector Poirot receives a mysterious letter from the killer, kindly informing the inspector of where and when the murder will take place. (God, everyone ise SO POLITE in the UK, even murderers. Even the dicky, "superior" Inspector Crome is rather nice.)

Anyway, before you know it, Alice Ascher of Andover in assassinated. Egads! (Unfortunately no one actually says egads! in the novel, but I'll forgive the omission.) Fast forward a bit, another letter, another town, and bam! Betty Barnard of Bexhill is butchered. (Ok, she's strangled, but alliteration, you know.) The killer, identified in his letters only as "ABC," leaves an ABC Railway Guide at the scene of each crime.

Soon the murders pile up, and it seems not even Poirot's powerful intellect can prevent the killer from tearing through the alphabet!

Just kidding! The murderer turns himself in.

BUT WAIT! Poirot is not so easily fooled -- and soon, he proves to everyone through a series of really dramatic assumptions that SOMETHING ELSE IS REALLY GOING ON.

AND HE'S RIGHT.

even babies are amazed by Poirot's sagacity

Poirot proves to his fellow investigators -- and to the reader -- that the true nature of the murders was always before them (and us), but had been rendered invisible by their previous assumptions.

Oh, Poirot. You are a sly fox indeed.

In a nutshell: A bit dry in places, despite all the murdering. And oy, what an intricate solution.

Bibliolatry Scale: 3 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: You know what I'm going to say, don't you FTC? Yes, yes you do. YES, YES, YES, personal copy here -- all I do is buy shit like books and shoes and DRESSES from FOREVER21, I can't stop myself, GIVE ME A BREAK ALREADY

RR10: May

Alrighty, not sure why May was such a craptacular entry in my 2010 reading resolution, but it was. June, however, is going to be much better; I've already finished three books, and I don't plan to slow down.


BOOKS READ: MAY 2010

Hynes, James. The Lecturer's Tale
Spark, Muriel. Memento Mori
Straub, Peter. Ghost Story



RESOLUTION TITLES = 1 (9/80)

NON-RESOLUTION TITLES = 2

TOTAL READ IN MAY 2010 = 3

TOTAL READ IN 2010 = 27

Finger lickin' good

The Lecturer's Tale
James Hynes

Imagine having the power to make your dreams a reality. What would you do? How far would you go?

Nelson Humboldt, a just-fired adjunct lecturer at a middling university, finds himself in exactly this situation after his index fingered is severed in a freak accident. Of course, doctors are able to reattach it, but wait -- his finger now comes with powers!

It isn't long before Nelson realizes he can (to quote from the back of the book because the back is saying it better than I'm thinking it) "force his will on others with a touch of his finger."

Imagine the possibilities! You could create peace, harmony, goodwill among men! Or, a more selfish sort might walk into a bank and emerge a millionaire -- without anyone calling the police. The fate of the free world would be in your hands finger!

Nelson, however, is a simpler sort. He just wants tenure. Securing himself a position in the English department is all the man really wants. And it isn't long before he'll do anything -- anything -- to get it.

Wait -- WHAT???

So, THE MAN CAN FORCE HIS WILL ON OTHERS AND HE JUST WANTS TENURE???

TENURE???

Sorry.

It's good that Nelson aims straight for the middle, though, because he isn't the smartest guy, or the most moral. What ensues is biting satire of both human desire and academia. There are some madcap scenes, lots of literary hijinks, and some outright hilarity.

Unfortunately, there are some flaws. Some scenes could be condensed a bit (although the prose itself is clear and precise), and the end is just ... weird. While some have found the ending to ruin an otherwise wonderful novel, I was able to take it all in stride. I mean, what do you expect -- the dude's got a dead, electric finger. Shit's gonna get weird.

In a nutshell: Despite its flaws, The Lecturer's Tale is intelligent, comic, and full of literary fun.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Yet another personal copy; not sure I even know what a library is anymore.