Back from the dead.

SO, life, in all its wonders has intervened since my last post many eons ago.

Life + stress + work = no time for blogging -- which figures, because I totally killed the RIP challenge. Of course I would be too busy to gloat recap the first time I've ever successfully completed a challenge.


SIGH.


So, anyway, here's a bunch of stuff I've read lately in order of awesomeness:


Outlander, by Diana Gabaldon

• SASSENACH! GAH JAMIE I LURVEEEE YOU. Why are you so hot and yet so fictional? WHY OH WHY are there no magical rocks that can buzz me backwards in time?? (Also, why do they not smell? Because the entire time, I just kept thinking that everyone must stink to high heaven.) Anyway, they gave this shit away for free on Amazon. HELLO, THIS BOOK IS WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN GOLD. How dare Amazon give this gem away for free? Anyway, completely insane and completely awesome. I immediately finished it and downloaded the second book in the series. Jamie Fraser 4eva!!1

The Gates, by John Connolly

• Short, lovely little tale about the gates of Hell opening up in someone's basement. And, there's Nurd, who's actually a lovely little demon. Charming and fun.

Dark Harvest, by Norman Partridge

• This one was nice, fast, and spooky. Oh, and it qualified for RIP, for what that's worth. Some pumpkin kid comes to life and the town's teens have to destroy him before Bad Things happen. Note: It was much better than I'm making it sound.

Neverland, by Douglas Clegg

• This one was atmospheric, Southern Gothicky, and a little disturbing. Isolated children get up to no good and they may or may not be making sacrifices to the devil. And then Bad Things happen. Also, RIP. This one was pretty good, although it didn't ruffle my muffin or anything.

Dead City, by Joe McKinney

• Apparently this one's about zombies, although I needed google to remind me about that. Still, it was a good story and got me through more than a few goes on the treadmill. Also, not a total bummer of an ending. And, RIP.

33 A.D., by David McAfee

• This one involves vampires and Jesus. Apparently vampires were the ones responsible for the crucifixion of Christ. Who knew? Actually not as bad as this sounds, although there's a reason it's at the bottom of this list. But still, vampires + Jesus, so take from that what you will. And, RIP.

Finally, I'm also reading like a dozen other things that I've stopped about halfway though because Gabaldon and her web of fantasy have rendered me impossible to read like a normal adult. And, that life thing again.

Hopefully normal posting will resume soon.

The pickles! The pickles!

Ethan Frome
Edith Wharton

I have a love-hate relationship with DailyLit. On the one hand, it lets me have free reading material at the ready, even when I'm, say, at work. On the other hand, it doesn't give me hard copy, which -- in this case, anyway -- is a BIG problem.

Quite simply, I didn't expect to love Ethan Frome as much as I did. My mind has somehow come to equate Edith Wharton with TEH BORE, and so I figured reading this short little novel via DailyLit was the best way to slog through what was sure to be an excruciatingly slow read. I didn't expect to read it all in nearly one sitting (okay, it was more like two), requesting installment after installment until I had finished.

Ok, so Ethan lives alone with his dour, invalid harpy of a wife, and he's the stolid and "I'll just suck it up" type. BUT THEN his wife's cousin, Mattie, comes to take care of things -- and she's cute! And has a red ribbon in her hair! (symbolism!) And she gives Ethan pickles for dinner! (symbolism!) Meanwhile his wife remains all sick and dour and confined to her room, so one nearly hopes that Mattie and Ethan can continue to share secret glances and long, meaningful sighs in peace.

BUT NO! Of course, this is not to be. The story is told in flashback, and since we know Ethan is miserable at the beginning of the book, we know he'll be miserable at the end, too. But the end! It's so good! The sadness! The irony! The pickles!

In a nutshell: A gem of a novel; it's impossible not to love Ethan. And Ethan. And probably Edith, too, although I'm less convinced about her.

Bibliolatry Scale: 6 out of 6 stars (yeah, I said it)

FTCBS: DailyLit :( booooo I need Ethan all for myself!

Angels are bright still, though the brightest fell

Falling Angel
William Hjortsberg

Where do you search for a guy who was never there to begin with?

Private detective Harry Angel ponders this very question as he searches for his quarry, who has disappeared under peculiar circumstances. Hired by the mysterious Louis Cyphre to find a missing crooner, Johnny Favorite, Angel's search soon takes him to the seedy underbelly of the city and introduces him to the dark world of voodoo devil worship. It isn't long before Angel finds himself irrevocably entangled in these dark events.

I first heard of this novel when Carlos Ruiz Zafon listed his top 10 20th-century gothic novels. He said Falling Angel is "the best mystery thriller ever written. It has the classic elements of a Chandler novel combined with the solid tradition of the 1970s supernatural thrillers .... The writing, plotting and characterisation are superb." He ended his blurb by adding, "This is a hard title to find, but do yourself a favour and go looking." He wasn't kidding.

The harder I looked for this book, the more I wanted to read it. Struck out on Amazon (unless I wanted to pay over 40 bucks for a copy). No luck at the library. I finally ordered a used copy from the UK (thanks, guys). Then, the waiting began.

My book arrived in the late afternoon; a few hours later, I had fully devoured it. Zafon was spot on when he said the plotting is superb; the story hooks you immediately and doesn't relent until you've finished the final page.

In a nutshell: A gripping mystery with a nice dash of horror, Falling Angel is a must for those looking for a gritty, atmospheric read.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Mine, but only because not a single library in my state carried the book. WTF, library system??? W.T.F?!?

The Classics Circuit: Alexander Pushkin

Eugene Onegin
Alexander Pushkin

Poor Pushkin has long suffered the fate of an impulsive buy.

A few years ago, I purchased Eugene Onegin knowing only it was Russian lit, which I needed to read more of beyond Dostoevsky. I arrived home and cracked open my purchase only to find a novel in verse!

[Insert party-stopping record scratch here]

Say what?

And so, poor Pushkin has sat unread on my shelf for many a year now. Thankfully, this latest installment of the Classics Circuit has given me the kick in the butt I needed to conquer this thing.

I'll say this: Eugene Onegin is not what you'd call a summer read. I wouldn't go so far as to say it's a difficult read, but it's definitely not an easy one. The translation (by Charles Johnston) makes for smooth enough reading, but our narrator digresses, rambles, philosophizes...oh boy. But I pressed on, ever the loyal CC participant.

The story is simple enough: Onegin is rich and bored with life. He flits from party to party -- oh, the emptiness of his life. Then, his uncle dies and Onegin inherits his house in the county. Alas! The country is just as boring as the city! So, he spends his days TORTUROUSLY: reading, walking by the river, and hanging out with his new friend, Lensky. In other words, his life totally sucks. (At least he doesn't he doesn't assault a remote, though.)

Eugene Onegin: first on the emo scene

Anyway, Lensky is head over heels in love with Olga. Fast forward a bit, and Olga's older sister, Tatyana, soon falls in love with the undeserving Onegin.

Tanya's in love with Onegin, Onegin's in love with Onegin -- this won't end well. And why should it? Onegin is utterly unsympathetic. It's a bit problematic to have a condescending, pompous prick as the work's hero -- I couldn't muster up a bit of feeling for him.

Ultimately, this work left me cold due to the unlikability of the "hero" and the narrator's numerous digressions. (Tatyana's pretty badass, though.) The action was drawn out, so I found myself skimming much more than I should probably admit. That said, Pushkin's achievement is undeniable: at nearly 400 stanzas and featuring an innovative rhyme scheme (a.k.a. the Onegin stanza), Eugene Onegin is no paltry accomplishment.

In a nutshell: Onegin may be a turd, but Pushkin is okay in my book.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Personal copy

mmmmm pie

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

Every once in awhile, a lovely little book comes along that charms and delights. Such is Guernsey.

Juliet Ashton is a writer covering the Second World War and its aftermath. One day she receives a letter from a member of the Guernsey you-know-what society, she plans to write a novel on the war's effects in Guernsey. Soon, the inhabitants of this small island are flooding Juliet with their stories. Typical small-town folk abound: the nice-but-awkward Dawsey, the mean ol' church lady, the fiesty spinster.

Guernsey is a nice little epistolary novel that provides a good story (if a bit predictable) and enchanting (if a bit one-sided) characters. Such a story in another's hands might have felt cloying or oversweet. However, while some aspects of the novel seemed almost too good to be true, the novel doesn't fail to captivate: once I started it, I couldn't put it down.

In a nutshell: Sweet but not overbearing, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society is a lovely little delight.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4.5 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Personal copy. Sigh.

to the Winchester!

The Forest of Hands and Teeth
Carrie Ryan

This review's gonna be a fast read -- just like this book.

Ok so Mary lives in a village surrounded by the Unconsecrated (aka brain-eating zombies) and soon her (gulp) marriage will be upon her (it's all their good duty to have lots of un-unconsecrated babies) and meanwhile all she can do is wonder was the ocean is like and will she ever see it.

[Pssst. Hey, Mar. The ocean? Full of sand. (Said sand gets all up in your pants. Literally.) And there's sun. (If you're like me, said sun will burn you to a crisp.) And there's jellyfish. (Which are just gross.) Plus you'll have zombies. So, the ocean? Get over it.]

Anyway, the book:

GOOD: Zombies! Angst! Zombies! BRRRAAAINNSS

BAD: Protag was a bit too angsty. You're living in the zombie apocalypse: stop whining about your crush, already. Also, there were a few loose ends that weren't tied up, although they might better be resolved in the second novel, The Dead-Tossed Waves.

BEST: A fast-paced, gripping read read that was perfect for my treadmill. (I read the Kindle version, obvi.)

In a nutshell: Taut and entertaining, TFoHaT takes a look at those who fight to survive under what might be the most disturbing of circumstances.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: I got the Kindle version for this, thankyouverymuch!



PS: The title to this post comes from my favorite zombie flick and not this novel. (Although, to be fair, going to the Winchester and having a nice cold pint sounds better than visiting a zombified ocean.)

I ain't afraid of no ghosts

Ghost Story
Peter Straub

Ugh. I SO wanted to adore Ghost Story. It's scary, it has ghosts (sorta), and lots of people were quoted on the cover as saying "omg scariest book evvar!!1" or some such, so I thought it was right up my alley. And although it may have been "up my alley," it was a reallllly long alley, and not a particularly nice one, either. Oh, wait you say, the alley is supposed to be me? Whatever, you know what I mean. I mean this book bored the pants off me.

Ok, so: the novel concerns "the Chowder Society," a group of old men who meet together and tell scary stories (and presumably eat chowder, although that part isn't made abundantly clear). So they tell scary stories and THEN scary stuff starts happening to them. And then it's happening not only to them but also to their sleepy little hamlet, which is about to experience the worst winter in history. (Side note: do not read this book in May after a particulary snowy winter, since MORE SNOW is the LAST thing I want to imagine right now).

Also, the narrative jumps around a bit, so at one point it's the future, then it's the present, then it's the past, then it's the WAY past, then it's the present, which is fine, I'm no dummy, but some of it was a bit draggy.

Which leads me to Disappointment #1. Simply put, Ghost Story was a wee bit long for my tastes. This novel could have been pared down significantly without losing any momentum. By the end I was just like WILL THIS SHAPESHIFTER / MANITOU / CREEPY THING KILL EVERYONE ALREADY BECAUSE I'M GETTING VERY SLEEPY OVER HERE.

Which leads me to Disappointment #2. One should probably not be sleepy while reading a scary book. However, I fell asleep NUMEROUS times while reading Ghost Story, which leads me to conclude this scary book IS NOT SCARY. True, there were a few creepy moments, but lots of things are creepy without being scary. To wit:



Question: Would you be afraid of this dog?

Answer: Not if you had a brain in your head: this thing is clearly punt-able, syringe or not. And anyone who is afraid of an evil chihuahua deserves what's coming to him.

Which brings me to Disappointment #3. True, the Big Evil in Ghost Story is not an evil chihuahua, but sometimes it might as well be. Some parts were just plain silly, while other parts didn't make sense within the context of the novel. I'd elaborate, but doing so would involve some spoilers. Also, I don't feel like it. So there.

In a nutshell: Yawn. (But yay! for reading another resolution title! [Remember that?])

Bibliolatry Scale: 2 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Personal copy (insert sad music here)

The Classics Circuit: Georgette Heyer

Footsteps in the Dark
Georgette Heyer

Today I am pleased to welcome Georgette Heyer as part of the Classics Circuit!

First, I have to say that I'm mighty pleased to participate in this Circuit, as I've never even heard of Georgette Heyer before participating, despite the fact that my edition of Footsteps calls her "one of the best-known and best-loved of all historical novelists." Really? [Insert my shame and embarrassment here.]

So, while perusing the Heyer overview, I found that many of her historical romances likened her to Jane Austen. Oh no! I wailed (to myself, obviously). And that's how I ended up with Footsteps in the Dark, a decidedly un-Austen mystery with not a hint of romance. Okay, there's a hint of it. But it's okay because Heyer gives us ghosts, disappearances, and murder as well.

Footsteps in the Dark begins as siblings Peter, Margaret, and Celia arrive at The Priory to inspect their inheritance. The building is old and mysterious, and it comes with an intriguing history: the Priory is reputed to be haunted by a mysterious personage known only as the Monk.

Of course, the new inhabitants put little stock in such rumors. But then they start hearing things. And then they start SEEING things. And then they discover a murder. AND THEN...! Is the Monk supernatural -- or earthly? And why does he prowl about their home?

I enjoyed the wacky cast of characters that inhabit the pages of Footsteps in the Dark. Each is equally likely to be the Monk, and each is sufficiently bizarre enough to warrant some snide commentary from Charles, Celia's wry husband. The mystery was engaging, the characters were colorful (even if a bit flat), and the romance, while a bit silly, was charming enough for the story. Although I don't anticipate reading more Heyer (especially not with all those comparisons to Austen), I quite enjoyed Footsteps in the Dark.

In a nutshell: Fun, wacky, and a wee bit silly, Footsteps in the Dark was a light, charming read.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Bought this one for myself.

It cannot have happened. It happened.

The Egyptologist
Arthur Phillips

I think this book is cursed.

I received this on Christmas morn, thanks to Santa. (Ok, it was my husband.) And I squee-ed with glee, because I loved Phillips' Angelica, and I love All Things Egypt, hence I knew I would love The Egyptologist. I began reading it the day after Christmas, and I was hooked from the opening pages.

And then the unthinkable happened. Shuffling across my living room in my cheap, shoddy slippers, I tripped -- I kid you not -- over what could only have been air. The pile of stuff in my hands -- The Egyptologist among the items -- went flying to the four corners of the room as I fell to the floor. I watched my prized novel tumble down slowly, turning over and over and over again (clearly, this happened in slow motion, mind you), and I watched as it landed a few feet away from me. To give you a visual of the event and how I went down like a ton of bricks (although stairs were not involved), I present Exhibit A:

Upon my recovery, I stood, dazed and slightly injured (have no fear, ducks, I am fine), and raced to my dear Phillips. Alas, he did not fare so well. The spine was cracked, the first third of the book lying at a painful angle. The cover was maimed, and a black Sharpie only partially masked the damage. My heart, however, fared far worse. Of all my new books, I prized this one most highly. AND IT LOOKS LIKE A TURD RIGHT NOW.

Anyway. I bring this up because The Egyptologist is GLORIOUS, it is breathtaking, it is heartbreaking -- oh Trilipush! Alas. AND THEN my dear Heather J. tells me that NEARLY NO ONE in the blogosphere likes The Egyptologist, save for us. SAY WHAT?!?!?! Error 404 Page not found. Does not compute. And so on.

Ok fine, let me tell you about the book. There's some Egypt. And some unreliability. (Done right, mind you, unlike, say, THIS.) And, there's a bit of a mystery. And while the great revelation concerning said mystery becomes clear to anyone with a brain about halfway through, that's not the point. The point is how different people totally misread the obvious signs that are right in front of them. It's about yearning, and about loss, and about wanting to be greater than we are. It's also gripping and the ending is INSANE. Trilipush!

So, you should read it. And, because my summary sucks and is mostly about me, here's the summary from Arthur Phillips' website:

Just as Howard Carter unveils the tomb of Tutankhamun, making the most dazzling find in the history of archaeology, Oxford-educated Egyptologist Ralph Trilipush is digging himself into trouble, having staked his professional reputation and his fiancée's fortune on a scrap of hieroglyphic pornography. Meanwhile, a relentless Australian detective sets off on the case of his career, spanning the globe in search of a murderer. And another murderer. And possibly another murderer. The confluence of these seemingly separate stories results in an explosive ending, at once inevitable and utterly unpredictable.

In a nutshell: Read this, dear friends. And don't ef your copy up like I did.

Bibliolatry Scale: 5.5 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Dear Santa brought me this one. No strings attached here.

A mystery, some history, and a whole lotta poop

The Great Stink
Clare Clark

This is a crazy bit of a book right here. Quite a large...erm, chunk (gag) of the action takes place in the London sewers (the sewers of 150 years ago, mind you), where all sorts of filth rush past one's feet. Filth. And disease. And rats. Oh, and did I say filth? Because I meant poop. VOMIT.

Anyway, our story follows two different individuals, both of whom rely on the sewers to make their livelihood, albeit in entirely different ways. There's Long Arm Tom, a "tosher" who enters the sewers to find and trap rats used aboveground in dogfighting. And then there's poor William May, so traumatized by his time spent in the war that he enters the tunnels for reasons far darker than those required by his official job. (He is an engineer helping to map the current sewer so that it might be improved.)

The two stories twist and turn and ultimately collide at the end -- but in the meantime, readers are treated not only to a look at one of the grossest places ever -- and May does WHAT there?!?!? Does he not understand DISEASE??? -- as well as a look at life in England during the Victorian period.

In a nutshell: A bit slow in places, but an overall an enjoyable read with a satisfactory resolution.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Yep, another one I bought. I'm sensing a pattern here.

I can't believe I cried over a rat

Firmin
Sam Savage

If you're a book lover, you absolutely must read Firmin. Firmin is, well, a rat -- but he's the most likable fellow I've met in a long time.

Living in the basement of a bookstore in the 1960s, Firmin survives his early years by munching on the likes of Joyce and Melville. Soon, however, he learns that books are not for eating, but for reading -- and read he does, becoming arguably the most-educated rat to ever live.

Unfortunately, with his increasing knowledge comes a self-awareness that is none too kind. As Firmin becomes all-too-aware of his own limitations, he yearns for a greater life than the one he must endure.

Filled with allusions and pathos, Firmin is a book for everyone -- but especially for those who love literature. And look: the book comes replete with its own little bite mark. Sigh. I love you, Firmin!

In a nutshell: This is one rat you can't help but love. You can live with me, little buddy!

Bibliolatry Scale: 6 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: I bought this one myself.

There isn't enough Purell in the world

The Hot Zone
Richard Preston

The Hot Zone is a book I read in November. Thankfully, after this, I'll be all caught up and will be able to cover some December reads. NICE.

I don't know why, but I've been reading a lot of disturbing books lately, mostly one that involves end-of-the-world scenarios. And while The Hot Zone doesn't necessarily concern the end of the world, it was apocalyptic enough for me.

The Hot Zone is all about EBOLA. In fact, that's how I imagine the word in my head: all in caps. It's just that intense. Lord knows I'm paranoid enough about such things, so I can only wonder what possessed me to read this book. (Actually, I do know. It was Heather's review of it. Gee, thanks, Heather.) Needless to say, if EBOLA ever hits my area, I'm throwing myself in front of a bus at the first warning symptom. I'll be damned if I'm going to endure the grueling progression of this disease.

Wait -- what? It sloughs...off? And comes out where???
FML.

Besides the disturbing nature of the book (which the sick part of me took delight in), there were some drawbacks. I had an issue with the organization of the book, since it jumped around a bit in parts, and a few parts dragged while others were repetitive. Overall, however, The Hot Zone was a frightening, all-too-real read. And I won't even mention the part about how EBOLA arrived in Washington D.C. a little over a decade ago. FEARPARANOIAVOMIT.

In a nutshell: Not for the faint of heart, The Hot Zone is a terrifying true story that reminds why I hate leaving my house and interacting with dirty humans.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: I bought this one for my library, in case I ever want to enjoy the gruesomeness again.

People, stop going to houses of evil

The House of Lost Souls
F.G. Cottam

Still focusing on nanowrimo, my reading time is severely impaired. Nevertheless, I managed to find time to squeeze in a little House of Lost Souls. I waited eagerly for it to arrive . . . and then took my good old time reading it. Had I not lagged while reading this novel, I might have liked it better. As it was, I started to forget details, and when things began to get a little complicated, I was confused.

The novel opens on a funeral, but not just any funeral, mind you. This one was to bury a suicide, the young girl offing herself after a particularly traumatic experience in the haunted Fischer House. Now, Paul Seaton -- who survived an encounter in the same house a decade earlier -- has been enlisted to help rid the remaining girls of the affliction that continues to stalk them. To save the survivors, Paul must return to the house and put an end to the evil that stalks the grounds. Before he does so, however, the author rewinds the clock, returning us to the events that unleashed the evil decades before.

The House of Lost Souls is creepy, atmospheric, and unsettling. It's a perfect novel to read while curled up on the sofa with the lights down low. At times, I felt the story was bogged down with extraneous information (while other elements, that I wanted to know more about, weren't given the same treatment), but the novel was nevertheless an entertaining, thrilling read, and intriguing enough that I plan to check out more of Cottam's work.

In a nutshell: A little more complicated in places than it needed to be, but I enjoyed it overall.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: I bought this book myself.

An unconventional, unsettling ghost story

Her Fearful Symmetry
Audrey Niffenegger

I've recently had the pleasure of reviewing Audrey Niffenegger's latest novel for Pajiba.

I adored The Time-Traveler's Wife, so I was eager to see what her latest effort was all about.

While it doesn't reach the heights of TTTW, Her Fearful Symmetry is both intriguing and unsettling. To read my full review, kindly click here.

In a nutshell: Compelling and moving, with a truly unforgettable ending. Everyone won't like it, but everyone will have an opinion about it.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: I received a copy of Her Fearful Symmetry from the publisher.

Warning: Ignoring this book will have sinister consequences

The Hunger Games
Suzanne Collins

So, for months upon months, all I've been hearing is people rave about The Hunger Games. I, being the snooty bitch I am, ignored such praise, since I, of course, do not read YA fiction. Sneered I, I'm sure it's good...to TEENAGERS! And lo, Bibliolatrist ignored the words of the great prophets, and her heart was hardened.

Fortunately, I couldn't ignore it any longer. This book was everywhere I turned. I would hear sinister laughter echoing behind me at odd times, only I'd turn around to find nothing there. I knew it was The Hunger Games. I'd often feel someone following me, but the culprit would vanish before I could catch it. I knew The Hunger Games was following me.

Every dark corner echoed with sinister steps;
this omnipresent novel will never give up!

So even though most (if not all) of you reading this have already devoured The Hunger Games, I'll nevertheless recap the plot for the 0.0001% of you who haven't yet enjoyed this most awesome of novels:

It's the future. The US no longer exists as we know it. Now, 12 districts surround the Capitol, which exacts a terrible price for the districts' submission. Each year, two tributes from each district -- one boy and one girl -- must fight to the death in a televised event known as the Hunger Games. The winner -- there can be only one! -- earns both fame and wealth, and the winning district receives food and other luxuries for the entire year.

Katniss, the girl tribute from District 12, is our protagonist, and we follow her as she leaves her home and prepares to enter the Hunger Games. She, along with Peeta (the other tribute from her district), are sent into a vast arena full of traps -- not to mention deadly foes. OMG, WILL KATNISS SURVIVE??? (Since this is the first book in a trilogy, this isn't the most difficult question to answer.)

Still, despite not truly fearing for Katniss' safety, I couldn't put the friggin thing down. I tore through that beast in a couple hours, barely stopping to eat. (And, trust me: that's saying something.) At night, I dreamed about The Hunger Games. I lovelovelovelove this book like the enchanted tree loves Schmendrick.



In a nutshell: OMG IT IS THAT GOOD ... I just wish Katniss had a different name. And Peeta too. I mean, Peeta? Really? UGH.

Bibliolatry Scale: 5.5 out of 6 stars

Nature = scary (not to mention buggy)

The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon
Stephen King

Trisha McFarland is royally screwed.

Her parents are getting divorced: dad's an alcoholic, and mom's hatching one crackpot bonding plan after another. Her love of baseball (especially Tom Gordon, her favorite player) is one of the only things capable of bringing a smile to her face. Unfortunately, the comforts of home are far away after she finds herself lost in the middle of the woods with no tools and barely any food. Hoping rescue is just an hour or two away, she begins walking back toward what she believes is the path from which she first veered.

Needless to say, Trisha is wrong.

What follows is a harrowing misadventure that reminds anyone with half a brain NOT TO LEAVE THE FRIGGIN PATH when you're traipsing through the woods. Unless, of course, you happen to be a) older than 9, b) insane, or c) equipped with basic hiking gear, like, say, a compass.

What she thinks is a shortcut isn't; what she believes will take her back won't. Trisha gets lost and lost again, all the while struggling to survive in the face of some pretty awful obstacles.

As if this weren't already enough, King throws something ELSE at this poor kid: something is stalking her in the woods. What is this thing - is it beast? or human? Real, or a figment of her imagination?

In a nutshell: A fast, entertaining read that might have been better as a short story; still, readers can easily sympathize with Trisha and will want to see her through to the end.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

Why doesn't the Gingerbread Man wear shorts?

The Fourth Bear
Jasper Fforde

You may have noticed a lack of posts lately (actually, you probably haven't, but let's pretend) -- and this is a good thing. No posts = kicking ass in my resolution. It's been trying, especially when some books just suck.

Which brings me to The Fourth Bear. I wanted to like it: everyone else seems to. Fforde's got a good enough idea going, treating fairytale characters as though they are real, but the jokes and gags that follow all seem like too much effort for not enough of a return.

First, a recap: The Fourth Bear begins as Goldilocks, an investigative reporter, questions a local cucumber grower. Soon, the grower is dead and Goldilocks is missing. Jack Spratt of the Nursery Crime Division investigates her whereabouts, and he soon finds -- wait for it -- the three bears. These honest bears, however, know nothing about Goldilocks present location, leading Spratt to believe in the presence of a fourth bear. Meanwhile, the notorious Gingerbread Man is running amok, leaving innocent victims in his wake. If only Spratt can solve the crime in time...

Sure, he looks cute. . .
but wait until he rips off your arms

Unfortunately, for Spratt and his cronies, I was rooting for the Gingerbread Man, who was the most interesting character in the book -- Fforde should have let the Man do as he pleased. I really didn't care whether Spratt ever found Goldilocks and solved the cucumber mystery (which became way too complicated for my blood). The running jokes involving fairytale characters in real-life setting were cute at first, but the humor faded quickly. I had to force myself to finish, and, had this not been the only book available during an interminable transatlantic flight, I probably wouldn't have finished at all.

In a nutshell: Cute and quirky at first...but the cute and quirky wore off quickly. Fforde's novels are immensely successful, though, so you might not want to take my word for it.

Bibliolatry Scale: 2 out of 6 stars

Oh, and if you want the answer to the question posed in the title of this post, it's because he has crummy legs. Get it? GET IT? That's so funny right? Just like this book.

I will not make a finger joke, I will not make a finger joke, Iwillnotmakeafingerjoke

Fingersmith
Sarah Waters

Sarah Waters is one of those authors I often hear praised, but yet have never read myself. After a respected fellow booklover (Nymeth from things mean a lot) told me to read Fingersmith, I thought I could excuse myself from my darned resolution to try a little Waters. AND THANK HEAVENS I DID.

Fingersmith is many things -- thriller, mystery, Gothic romance -- but the one thing it's not is predictable. Just when you think you've put your finger on it (sorry, I could only hold out so long...just count your blessings it wasn't a worse finger joke, cause I have a few), you find out you're wrong.

First, a warning: If you think you're interested in this novel, I'd stay away from any online summaries. I read them after the fact, and they give a wee bit more information than is strictly necessary. I only read the book's back cover, and that suited me just fine. Anything more is too much.

A quick, spoiler-free overview: Sue Trinder is an orphan raised by thieves in Victorian England. Despite the excitement of living outside the law, life really picks up when "Gentleman," a member of their merry band, arrives with a plan to make their fortunes. His plan is simple: dupe a rich girl into marrying him, then dump her in a madhouse. Sue, acting as maid to said rich girl, is to aid Gentleman's plot by talking him up. It won't be long before the marriage is legalized and the riches are shared. Huzzah!

Of course, it won't be that easy. I could say more, but in this case, I think the rest of the plot is better left unsaid. What follows is a complex and intricate plot that twists and turns much like Sue's native Borough. This hefty novel (about 600 pages) flew by in quick gulps, and I finished it faster than novels half its length.

True, it's not perfect: there were a few elements I'd like better explained at the end, and a couple things that didn't really make sense to me, but these trivialities pale in the face of the novel's entirety. My biggest complaint is that I didn't read it in the fall, because it would be perfect in October thanks to a hefty dose of fog and mist, a dark and oppressive English manor, one or two madhouses, and, of course, the cramped and dirty streets of London. Did I mention the fog?

In a nutshell: With its gorgeous prose, riveting plot, and enthralling characters, Fingersmith delivers on all counts. Now, the only question that remains is, which Waters' novel should I next read?

Bibliolatry Scale: 5 out of 6 stars

A Return to Simpler Times

The Food of a Younger Land
Mark Kurlansky

This is a hard book to summarize, so I'm going to allow the book jacket to do the honors:

Award-winning New York Times–bestselling author Mark Kurlansky takes us back to the food and eating habits of a younger America: Before the national highway system brought the country closer together; before chain restaurants imposed uniformity and low quality; and before the Frigidaire meant frozen food in mass quantities, the nation’s food was seasonal, regional, and traditional. It helped form the distinct character, attitudes, and customs of those who ate it.

In the 1930s, with the country gripped by the Great Depression and millions of Americans struggling to get by, FDR created the Federal Writers’ Project under the New Deal as a make-work program for artists and authors. A number of writers, including Zora Neale Hurston, Eudora Welty, and Nelson Algren, were dispatched all across America to chronicle the eating habits, traditions, and struggles of local people. The project, called “America Eats,” was abandoned in the early 1940s because of the World War and never completed.

The Food of a Younger Land unearths this forgotten literary and historical treasure and brings it to exuberant life. Mark Kurlansky’s brilliant book captures these remarkable stories, and combined with authentic recipes, anecdotes, photos, and his own musings and analysis, evokes a bygone era when Americans had never heard of fast food and the grocery superstore was a thing of the future. Kurlansky serves as a guide to this hearty and poignant look at the country’s roots. From New York automats to Georgia Coca-Cola parties, from Arkansas possum-eating clubs to Puget Sound salmon feasts, from Choctaw funerals to South Carolina barbecues, the WPA writers found Americans in their regional niches and eating an enormous diversity of meals. From Mississippi chittlins to Indiana persimmon puddings, Maine lobsters, and Montana beavertails, they recorded the curiosities, commonalities, and communities of American food.

I was fascinated by the eating habits of America's younger years, and even marked a few recipes to try later. The book is divided into geographical sections (the Northeast, the Southwest, etc.) and I enjoyed seeing how traditions varied from place to place.

In fact, in reading The Food of a Younger Land I couldn't help but think the authors of The Liberation Diet would enjoy this book. In the past, Americans ate lots of whole-fat foods, lots of animal fats, and lots of locally grown produce. I'm still not swayed.

In a nutshell: This is not a book to be read straight-through, as one would a novel, but rather to be digested slowly, in small bites, as one would a sumptuous feast.

Bibliolatry Scale: 5 out of 6 stars

You give, and you are given

Evidence
Mary Oliver

I have to thank both Beacon Press and LibraryThing's Early Reviewers Program for sending me Evidence, Mary Oliver's latest collection of poetry. I love Oliver's work and this newest collection does not disappoint.

I'm pleased to say that, while not every poem hit home, I enjoyed the majority of poems in the collection, and a few had such an impact on me that I was utterly unable to continue reading -- all I could do was to reread the lines which had affected me so. This happened a number of times, which is always a hallmark of a superior poet.

Oliver's poetry is simple and unpretentious; that's not to say, however, that it's facile or simple-minded. I love how she glories in the world around her, and finds beauty in every aspect of nature.

This ability is most clearly seen in "Prince Buzzard," one of my favorite poems in the collection. Here, Oliver is able to make beautiful that which is generally considered to be ugly: a buzzard feeding on carrion. Although this image is not a pleasant one, the poem that results from it is.

"Almost a Conversation" is another of my favorites; in this poem Oliver describes a conversation with an otter. I had quoted a portion of the poem in a previous draft of this review; upon rereading it, however, the power of those lines is not as strong as when attached to the entire poem, so you'll just have to trust me on this one.

At any rate, if you enjoy poetry characterized by simple phrasing, profound thoughts, and a glorification of the natural world, Evidence is for you.

In a nutshell: Oliver uses simple language to create profound poetry.

Bibliolatry Scale: 5 out of 6 stars