If it tastes good, spit it out

The Liberation Diet: Setting America Free from the Bondage of Health Misinformation!
Kevin Brown and Annette Presley

For the record, I think diet books and weight-loss plans are stupid. As someone who has struggled with her weight (and who has lost a good amount of poundage as well), I know losing weight isn't easy. Sure, I'd like nothing more than to eat pizza and french fries while sitting my ass on the sofa with a good book, but doing so will prevent me looking the way I want to look. Eating healthy foods, eating smaller portions, and exercising daily are unfortunately the only way to go.

The authors of The Liberation Diet, however, take issue with the current notion of what constitutes "healthy" food. In fact, they even go so far as to say that a lot of exercise isn't necessary. Hm. You know what they say: if it sounds too good to be true...

First, a run down of some of their main points:

1. Crisco is actually industrial waste marketed as a healthy alternative to lard and butter. Beware this and other false foods.

2. The USDA food guide pyramid (with the base -- and largest portion -- devoted to grains) was specifically designed to boost the sale of agricultural products; it was NOT designed to promote health. In fact, a great number of industries benefit from our current food guide pyramid -- not individual Americans and their health. Instead, one should buy locally grown, fresh food, which cannot be mass produced and distributed.

3. Animal fats are good for you - in fact, the authors note that "the heart gets its fuel from saturated fat, and it is the only organ in the body that does not succumb to cancer."

4. Carbohydrates (even whole grains) make you fat and one should not eat more than two servings of them a day.

5. Calorie counting is a waste of time because there is no way to be totally sure how many calories are being consumed or burned at any given time.

6. Instead of following the current recommendation of several small meals a day, one should eat 2 to 3 meals a day.

7. One should only eat breakfast if hungry.

8. Fasting, at least in moderation, is good.

9. Pretty much ignore food labels, since many are misleading. However, if a food has more than 12g of carbs or 5g of sugar, don't eat it.

10. Exercise accounts for only 20% of weight loss; diet accounts for 80%.


THE GOOD

1. Many of their points are sound, but a lot are common sense. It should hardly come as a surprise that Crisco is a fake food and therefore bad for you.

2. As for point #3 above, it sounds good, but then again those six vodka-cranberries sounded good to me last Friday, and look where they got me.

3. I'm all about point #9. In fact, I'll go even further and say that if there isn't at least 4g of fiber in those 12g, pass on it.


THE BAD

1. The exclamation mark at the end of the super-long title is a bit twee, don't you think?

2. I wholly disagree with their stance on calorie counting. I know we can never be totally sure of how many calories we consume (then again, can we ever be truly sure of anything? sigh.), but to discount calorie counting as a whole seems a bit dumb. I personally got my chubby ass in to some EXTREMELY TINY pants through constant calorie counting and daily exercise AND YES I COULD CUT A BITCH AFTER SEVERAL MONTHS OF SUCH DEPRIVATION but it was all worth it. Right? Right????

3. Fasting may be good in theory, but just ask my husband how lovely I am after I haven't eaten for a few hours.

4. I take issue with point #7. I'm very pro-breakfast. In fact, I'm a big fan of the "inverted pyramid" approach to eating: my breakfast is my biggest meal, lunch is medium-sized, and my dinner is quite small. Takes some getting used to but has worked quite well for me.

And that, ultimately, is what I think many need to keep in mind when it comes to dieting: what works for one person might not work for another. So take this approach with a grain of salt. But not too much salt. Salt makes you bloated, even if it IS quite tasty.

In a nutshell: I still say eat a little and exercise a lot, but what do I know? Still, The Liberation Diet taught me some things I didn't know, reaffirmed some things I did, and made me disagree with still others.

Bibliolatry Scale: 3.5 out of 6 stars

Wisdom for those lacking common sense

Moving Forward: Taking the Lead in Your Life
Dave Pelzer

Warning: I apologize in advance for the anger that appears in this post.


You know what? I’m going to write a self-help book. I’m not going to give away all my tips right now because that would just be silly, but I think my self-help book will go a little something like this:

Wanna be a millionaire? Well you’re gonna have to work. And save some money. Put away 20 bucks a week. Can’t do that? Try 10. Do what you gotta do.

Unlucky in love? Can’t meet the right person? Well stop your bitchin! Like being married is a real honeymoon. You know what they say: The grass is always greener.

Want to lose weight? Try not eating so much. Stay away from shit foods. If it’s fried, it’s probably gonna make you fat. Try drinking some friggin water and get the fuck off the computer while you're at it. Walk a little bit, even.

Unable to let go of the past? Well, Christ, loser, just let it go! No, seriously. Just let it go. I don't care if your daddy raped you while you were still a fetus. LET IT GO.

Actually, that last one isn't mine. It's the advice of my old friend, Cloud Hand, whom I didn't mind so much when I read his first book two years ago. Unfortunately, he had to keep going.

I'm speaking of Dave Pelzer, whose seventh book (all of which, ironically enough, are based on Pelzer's horrific past) Moving Forward advocates just that -- letting shit go and moving forward. While we're on the subject, shouldn't he have...I dunno, MOVED ON from his childhood, um, YEARS AGO? According to him, it should be easy, but I guess when you're making a lot of money off your past, it's okay. I guess his advice only applies to others.

And what advice!

Here's a few gems Pelzer provides in Moving Forward:

I say if there is something you can do, do it! If you've got something to state, state it.

If what you're doing is not working for you, well then, be adult enough to face the facts and commit to accomplishing something different.

Start accepting yourself for who you are and what you're about, including how you live your life.

Work hard, be kind, and help others along the path of life. Be happy, and be happy now! Damn it!

Alrighty then!

As you can see, his advice is pretty much common sense. If you want to pay for common sense, fine -- by all means. But if you want to pay for someone else's common sense, may I ask that you pay ME for mine? Because if you liked the three pearls of wisdom offered at the beginning of this post, there's more where that came from!

In a nutshell: I accept all forms of payment, even credit cards. Seriously. I'm going shopping today and I'll need to replenish the funds before my husband finds out.

Bibliolatry Scale: 0 out of 6 stars

How to handle stress effectively

The First 30 Days: Your Guide to Any Change (and Loving Your Life More)
Ariane de Bonvoisin

How do you deal with change? With stress?

Although I have many fears, I’m proud to say that change isn’t one of them. Then again, little beyond my age and hairstyle has changed much over the years. I’d like to think that I handle change well, but I really can’t be sure.

Mostly, though, I hide from change (or even just stressful things in general), doing anything in my power to avoid dealing with the situation. When this isn’t possible, I’d like to say that I always deal positively, like by exercising or reading. Sometimes this is true, but I’m also liable to shove food and/or alcohol down my throat instead. Good times.

Ariane de Bonvoisin would probably look down on my binging, even if a good binge session is followed by a nice bout of cardio. Her book, The First 30 Days: Your Guide to Any Change (and Loving Your Life More), outlines how to handle change effectively. Much of her advice, however, can be applied to any stressful situation, so if you aren't about to undergo change, don't write The First 30 Days off just yet.

I have to be upfront from the beginning and say that I generally don't like self-help books. I think most of their advice is common-sense, and I think that authors often prey on poor, gullible readers who, looking for a bit of hope in a hopeless world, buy such sage advice at unbelievably high prices. (Sylvia Browne, I'm looking at you, dear, even though there is a soft place in my heart for your gravelly predictions).

Tools for Life #1:
Be vague. Be very, very vague.

Thankfully, Ariane de Bonvoisin (what a great name. Is it unprofessional for me to just stop a second and remark on that? Say it aloud -- go ahead, I dare you. Ariane de Bonvoisin. Melodical, no?) is not among those those who sell bad advice at high prices.

For starters, her website contains a wealth of information on change without prompting you either to register or to pay to access the information. Secondly, The First 30 Days itself offers several distinct coping methods to help one understand (and even embrace) change. De Bonvoisin focuses on changing both one's mindset and behavior regarding change, and the techniques she advises to effect this change were practical (and, more importantly, genuinely helpful) and not of the "oh gimme a break" variety that I've found in other self-help books. Although I'm not exactly facing change right now, I did apply a few suggestions to a current stressful situation and found that de Bonvoisin helped me to rethink the situation in a new way.

In a nutshell: Whether you're facing a big change or a small one, The First 30 Days is a must. Even if you're not facing change, de Bonvoisin will help you better handle stress. And don't forget loved ones when the holiday season approaches -- The First 30 Days would make a great gift.

Bibliolatry Scale: 5 out of 6 stars


So, I'll ask again, how do you cope with stress? Leave your great ideas (including recipes for tasty cookies and brownies and even alcoholic beverages) in the comments.