Dave Pelzer
Warning: I apologize in advance for the anger that appears in this post.
You know what? I’m going to write a self-help book. I’m not going to give away all my tips right now because that would just be silly, but I think my self-help book will go a little something like this:
Actually, that last one isn't mine. It's the advice of my old friend, Cloud Hand, whom I didn't mind so much when I read his first book two years ago. Unfortunately, he had to keep going.
I'm speaking of Dave Pelzer, whose seventh book (all of which, ironically enough, are based on Pelzer's horrific past) Moving Forward advocates just that -- letting shit go and moving forward. While we're on the subject, shouldn't he have...I dunno, MOVED ON from his childhood, um, YEARS AGO? According to him, it should be easy, but I guess when you're making a lot of money off your past, it's okay. I guess his advice only applies to others.
And what advice!
Here's a few gems Pelzer provides in Moving Forward:
Alrighty then!
As you can see, his advice is pretty much common sense. If you want to pay for common sense, fine -- by all means. But if you want to pay for someone else's common sense, may I ask that you pay ME for mine? Because if you liked the three pearls of wisdom offered at the beginning of this post, there's more where that came from!
In a nutshell: I accept all forms of payment, even credit cards. Seriously. I'm going shopping today and I'll need to replenish the funds before my husband finds out.
Bibliolatry Scale: 0 out of 6 stars
You know what? I’m going to write a self-help book. I’m not going to give away all my tips right now because that would just be silly, but I think my self-help book will go a little something like this:
Wanna be a millionaire? Well you’re gonna have to work. And save some money. Put away 20 bucks a week. Can’t do that? Try 10. Do what you gotta do. Unlucky in love? Can’t meet the right person? Well stop your bitchin! Like being married is a real honeymoon. You know what they say: The grass is always greener. Want to lose weight? Try not eating so much. Stay away from shit foods. If it’s fried, it’s probably gonna make you fat. Try drinking some friggin water and get the fuck off the computer while you're at it. Walk a little bit, even. Unable to let go of the past? Well, Christ, loser, just let it go! No, seriously. Just let it go. I don't care if your daddy raped you while you were still a fetus. LET IT GO.
Actually, that last one isn't mine. It's the advice of my old friend, Cloud Hand, whom I didn't mind so much when I read his first book two years ago. Unfortunately, he had to keep going.I'm speaking of Dave Pelzer, whose seventh book (all of which, ironically enough, are based on Pelzer's horrific past) Moving Forward advocates just that -- letting shit go and moving forward. While we're on the subject, shouldn't he have...I dunno, MOVED ON from his childhood, um, YEARS AGO? According to him, it should be easy, but I guess when you're making a lot of money off your past, it's okay. I guess his advice only applies to others.
And what advice!
Here's a few gems Pelzer provides in Moving Forward:
I say if there is something you can do, do it! If you've got something to state, state it. If what you're doing is not working for you, well then, be adult enough to face the facts and commit to accomplishing something different. Start accepting yourself for who you are and what you're about, including how you live your life. Work hard, be kind, and help others along the path of life. Be happy, and be happy now! Damn it!
Alrighty then!
As you can see, his advice is pretty much common sense. If you want to pay for common sense, fine -- by all means. But if you want to pay for someone else's common sense, may I ask that you pay ME for mine? Because if you liked the three pearls of wisdom offered at the beginning of this post, there's more where that came from!
In a nutshell: I accept all forms of payment, even credit cards. Seriously. I'm going shopping today and I'll need to replenish the funds before my husband finds out.
Bibliolatry Scale: 0 out of 6 stars
9 comments:
Hahaha....I can't stand "self-help" books either. Isn't this stuff we should be doing on our own and figuring out on our own..thus the "self" in "self-help"?
Oh, self-help books, always my favorite section in the bookstore. In her book "This Land is The Land" Barbara Ehrenreich discusses a book I simply must have, Jeffrey Gitomer's "Little Gold Book of YES!"
"How do you achieve a state of transcendent YES! excitement about your job?... While reading the gurus and reciting the prescribed self-affirmations, it helps to cut off contact with the outer world. In particular, Gitomer says, don't watch the news. It's all 'negative' anyway...
Now, with Darfur, global warming, Iraq, and any recently bereaved or otherwise afflicted coworkers out of the way, you can 'SMILE ALL THE TIME.'"
Sounds helpful.
Hilarious! Glad to know I'm not the only one with sarcastic anger towards self-help books. My personal motto has always been "Just Do It." (I stole that one from Nike. But it's true.)
Your hatred of self-help is certainly justified; it's long been true that common sense that should be, well, common, is treated as a commodity in American books and television shows, just another thing for sale.
Sigh...
Your advice, by the way, sounds much better than Pelzer's, and not just because of the swear words (although they don't hurt).
I haven't read this particularly little gem so I can't comment on it. However, I gave a copy of his "Please yourself" to a friend and it did help her. Of course, he was saying things I'd been telling her all along but sometimes friends won't listen to friends and, alas, they need an outsider to back up what you've been saying all along. She was having horrendous problems with family at the time. I told her they weren't going to change -- she was the one that needed to change her attitude towards them. She was letting them hurt her. It took her another 6 months but she got there. Some things aren't so easy to let go but if nothing else why let the B******s win? *g* So yeah, get over what someone has done to you. A person can only save themselves in the end.
Hello, I wanted to let you know I answered you questions about Gods Behaving Badly, you can see the answeres here:http://bookwormsandtea.blogspot.com/2008/07/bookreview-gods-behaving-badly.html
Pelzer. *shiver* I thought his books were debunked in the NY Times years ago...
To offset this strange choice for reading (didn't you know what you were getting into?), I think you need to read Will Ferguson's book Happiness, a hilarious piece of fiction about what happens when a self-help book that seems to really work is published. And it's told from the point of view of the book's editor. Trust me--you'll love it.
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I love this post
Self help books are lame. They are useless and yet again, lame.
I work at a bookstore and find it sad that SO many people go crazy asking for 'The Secret', 'A New Earth', 'Power of Now' etc. Because they truly think it's going to help them. I think what they need is a good kick in the rear.
Half the time self help books just tell you what you were either hearing from others or what you were telling yourself.
GAH!!!! IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY.
And instead of picking up the secret to make yourself feel like a more 'positive' person. Why don't you just freaking do something good for others. It's not that freaking hard. Or at least pay attention to what's going on in the freaking world.
I had a couple come in not long ago and they were buying about... 10 copies of 'The Secret' because it 'changed their lives' and now they are 'better people'. Well what the crap is that all about? You really need a book to tell you how to be a better person? Really? Seriously?
Do some volunteer work, or get involved in an important isssue, raise awareness for something important (Darfur, child soldiers, poverty around the world etc.)
I'm done haha.
Thanks for this post!
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