The Many Faces of the Book Scarf

You may remember that I blogged about what not to buy a book lover for Christmas. Although I pride myself on my keen sense of foreshadowing, I never even guessed that this post would result in the best Christmas gift of 2007.

Oh yes. I got a book scarf. In a black bag. Because, you know, death is ahead.

Hm.

Of course, my dear Uncle Chiron didn't expect me to actually wear it. Nevertheless, I am always up for a challenge. Why not? I thought, the wheels in my dingy little brain turning. Perhaps I can learn to love the book scarf and turn it into something that even a fashionista might wear.

With this, I bring you:

THE MANY FACES OF THE BOOK SCARF

I call this first one "Beleaguered Starlet." There she is, ladies and gentlemen, plagued by the paparazzi. Unable to escape, she tries her best at venturing forth incognito. Unfortunately, it is to no avail. At night, she drowns her sorrows in quaaludes and vodka.

Next stop: rehab

This next one is "The J-Lo." Don't let the small ass and pale skin fool you, people: I'm a dead ringer for J-Lo. To quote the diva from the Bronx, "It take hard work to cash checks," and those are words that I live by.

Staying grounded as the amounts roll in

I call this next one "Sultan of Fab." Do sultans even wear turbans? Who does? The only guy who comes to mind is Punjab from Annie, and that's definitely not the look I'm going for here. There is no arguing, however, that this look screams fabulous, so that's what I'm calling it.

Fabulous it is

Finally, we have The Bandit, which might be the most useful out of all of these looks. Here, the book scarf comes in handy for those times in which you need to, say, rob a Barnes and Noble or something. Notice my life-like weapon.

Don't shoot, coppers! It's fake!

And so, you see, the book scarf can be a fashionable thing enjoyed by young and old alike. If it weren't for my dear uncle, I'd never have known the wonders that the book scarf holds.

Thanks, Uncle Chiron.