Michael Crichton thinks we're all idiots

State of Fear
Michael Crichton

Let me say this up front: I don’t like Michael Crichton. Okay, Jurassic Park and The Andromeda Strain are exceptions, but those days are gone. Instead, we have a Crichton with an agenda — and it’s obvious. But, in the interest of full disclosure, I was given this book (and this one) by a friend, and I’m not not going to read a book without giving it a try, especially if it appears I can have some fun with it here.

Unlike my last Crichton read, this one actually has a plot, instead of “here’s some bad stuff caused by science.” This one provides Crichton’s agenda on global warming: namely, that it’s all a bunch of rubbish and anyone who believes in it is misinformed at best and an utter dunce at worst.

Ok so admittedly I’m no scientist. I fear global warming is true, in the same way I fear global thermonuclear war or a serial killer marking me for his prey, but when you get right down to it, I know no more than anyone else. Sure, I occasionally notice bizarre weather changes, but that doesn’t mean they are indicative of global warming. Sure, I try to recycle and do my part to help the planet, but good lord, I’m human, and yes I threw out a plastic water bottle last week cause I was too lazy to walk to the recycling bin and YES I FEEL BAD ABOUT IT but I’m working through it and doing just fine, if you please.

Back to State of Fear, which is meant to hammer home the point that global warming is a myth set forth by either dumb scientists or evil environmentalists with nothing better to do than save the earth. Page after page is dedicated to, very subtlely I might add, knocking down common assumptions about global warming. Oddly enough, at one point, Crichton becomes so wearied of asserting his point that he simply inserts a whole page of references. There! Let the reader do it! He claims all references contained in the novel are true, but I highly doubt that many readers would bother to double check.

A couple of pages later, Crichton gives us this gem:

“What about the trojans?” Kenner said. “How are they timed?” In computer slang, a trojan was an innocent-looking program installed in the system. It was designed to wake up at a later time and carry out some action. It derived its name from the way the Greeks won the Trojan war—by making a huge horse and presenting it to the Trojans as a gift. Once the horse was within the walls of Troy, the Greek soliders [sic] who had been hiding inside it came out and attacked the city.

Well, thanks, Mike. I’d never have known. You know, the American educational system certainly has its flaws, but I think we’ve got the Trojan horse covered. In fact, I’m pretty sure the meth head down the street has got the Trojan horse allusion down pat, and her last two brain cells are busy fighting for total supremacy. But really, thanks. I could have better done with a definition of “soliders,” because I don’t know what the hell they are.

Relax, buddy. Michael Crichton says you're cool.

Please note that I have quelled my desire to here insert a Gerard Butler 300 pic as evidence of a "solider soldier." This is will power, people.

In a nutshell: I'm done talking about this piece of rubbish.

Bibliolatry Scale 1 out of 6 stars