This week's Weekly Geeks theme (again brought to you by the lovely Dewey) involves fond memories of childhood books.
I must say: I'm really excited about doing this; I love remembering those books that instilled the love of reading that still remains with me to this day. I just hope I'll be able to remember them all -- there's so many books crammed in here that earlier ones often get pushed out.
I'm sure that, with the help of Google and a good, hard mental push back to my childhood, I'll be able to remember lots of good stuff. Here we go...
SERENDIPITY BOOKS
Books like Flutterby, Hucklebug, Morgan and Me, and others totally made my childhood. They were both fun to read and beautiful to look at, and they helped my imagination develop in ways I probably can't even fathom. In the process of performing a GIS for pictures of these books, I damn near had a conniption by remembering such characters as Shimmeree and Leo the Lop. Aw, man. I'm sorry, I can't help it, I just...have...to sing...Memories light the corners of my mind...misty water-colored memorieeeessss...of the way we were... Here's a link to more titles in case a) someone wants to check out more of the series, or (less likely) b) purchase them all for me.
DR. SEUSS BOOKS
The Dr. Seuss books are obligatory, I know, and all of them were truly pivotal in my development. I loved To Think that I Saw it on Mulberry Street (doubly fascinating because I actually did live near a Mulberry Street) and The Digging-est Dog was super cool cause I wanted to tunnel too. However, Are You My Mother? takes the cake, since it was central to my development as a Super Neurotic Individual. Before reading this book, I hadn't quite realized it was possible to lose one's mother. Such a thought introduced nights of hysterics as I pondered the loss of my own mother, and I envisioned myself a lonely soul indeed, much like the poor schmuck at the center of this book. At one point he even asks a backhoe if it's his mother. What a fucking jackass.
LITTLE WOMEN
Louisa May Alcott's Little Women was one of the first books I ever cried at. I was so sad when the boring one died. Even though Little Women is pretty melodramatic, it didn't matter. I loved to envision Jo scribbling away in her little room and I loved the sense of sisterhood shared by the girls. I was disappointed when Jo didn't get to marry Laurie (although I was, to be honest, entirely too distracted by the idea of a boy named Laurie). I was scandalized by Jo's marrying the older Professor Bhaer, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to pronounce his name. Some mysteries endure.
THE SECRET GARDEN
I currently don't have a copy of The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and I can only wonder why the hell not. This book had it all, and my earlier self couldn't help but love a book that featured all that I didn't have, growing up as I did in the city. First, there's a huge, beautiful (but mysterious) mansion, the great countryside that allowed for hours of play (I had a small patch of grass and was pretty much uninterested in it), and, of course, the beautiful English garden. To this day I don't think I'll ever be entirely happy without an English garden of my own. Doesn't look like it's going to happen, though. Oh well.
FAIRIES AND ELVES
When I was a child, Time Life Books introduced the Enchanted World series. As a gift, I received one of the books, Fairies and Elves. For some reason I wasn't good enough to receive the entire series. That's okay, I'm sure I cried myself to sleep only a few times over it. Somehow my childhood copy disappeared and a few years ago, I hunted down the most of the set on eBay and enjoyed a trek back into my childhood. I must not have a read a single damn word as a child, though, because most of the tales seemed unfamiliar. As a child I was entranced by the pictures. I still like pretty pictures. I shouldn't have bought the entire series, though. Another example of my going overboard, just like the fifteen brownies I pounded last week. Still paying for those bastards, I am.
THE LITTLE HOUSE BOOKS
I had this entire series, but I don't know if I ever finished them all. Maybe I did, but all I remember about them is a one-room log cabin. And the great, wide prairie. Dear god, the BOREDOM. I don't know how I felt about these books at the time, but thinking of them now gives me an almost papable sense of claustrophobia. Just picturing myself alone in a one-room log cabin with my entire family is enough to make me jump right off the roof of the nearest building. I can't even think about these books anymore -- even looking at that pasty yellow cover is enough to bring it all back. Let me just say that I enjoyed them at the time (I think) but I will never revisit ye olde little house.
SWEET VALLEY TWINS / SWEET VALLEY HIGH
These two bitches drove me insane. First of all, they were friggin perfect. And they drove a Fiat, which I still can't figure out how to pronounce to this day. Oh, and everything was "in chaos." Chaos must have been dropped like every fifty pages. Pascal must have had some kind of chaos quota. When I was younger, I thought it was pronounced cha-hoes. It's cha-hoes in here! Only much later did I learn how to actually pronounce the word. Anyway, these books were responsible for my believing my teen years were supposed to be waaaay better than they were. No wonder I was so damn depressed as a youth. I was led to believe every teen was supposed to be like these two freaks. Now they're coming out with an updated version, and they're going to be even skinnier. I'm sure that will help young girls feel just grreat. By the way, how old is that dude the slut twin's dating up there? He looks like he's about 35. Good lord.
BABYSITTER'S CLUB
What a bunch of losers these kids were. Let's start a club about babysitting. Yeah, whatever. I still loved these books, and I probably started an equally lame club in the spirit of their club. While I was a fan of these books, ironically enough, I never babysat. That came later, when my brother was born, and by that point, I didn't want to babysit, and no lame club would have convinced me it was fun, either. That was the thing about those books: the babysitting took a backseat to the friendships, which was all fine and well -- until you finally got a kid alone and thought it was going to be just peachy, just like in the books. And then he starts climbing the bookcase and calling you a fucking asshole and all of a sudden you're reminded that reality BLOWS.
CHRISTOPHER PIKE
Man, I think that if someone were to have threatened my collection of Christopher Pike books, I would have cut his shit UP. These books were my heroin, my ecstasy, they were my life. This isn't surprising, given my penchant for scary movies. Christopher Pike books gave you all the thrill of scary movies ONLY IN BOOKS. That's genius!! Unfortunately, I'm afraid they won't stand the test of time. I bought a bunch last summer (again, on eBay) and I started to read Chain Letter again but it just wasn't the same. I don't know what I did with all my old Pike books; I feel like there's got to be a secret room in my mom's house that is currently containing all my lost treasures. Shit, it could have the Holy Grail in there for all I know. What I DO know is that I'm missing a shitload of stuff from over the years and I know myself too damn well to know that I'd never willingly give away a book, much less my Christopher Pike books. So mom, if you're reading this, your mission is to FIND MY STUFF. Seriously, there's an awesome sweater I just know is out there somewhere. Better get cracking!
I must say: I'm really excited about doing this; I love remembering those books that instilled the love of reading that still remains with me to this day. I just hope I'll be able to remember them all -- there's so many books crammed in here that earlier ones often get pushed out.
I'm sure that, with the help of Google and a good, hard mental push back to my childhood, I'll be able to remember lots of good stuff. Here we go...
SERENDIPITY BOOKS
Books like Flutterby, Hucklebug, Morgan and Me, and others totally made my childhood. They were both fun to read and beautiful to look at, and they helped my imagination develop in ways I probably can't even fathom. In the process of performing a GIS for pictures of these books, I damn near had a conniption by remembering such characters as Shimmeree and Leo the Lop. Aw, man. I'm sorry, I can't help it, I just...have...to sing...Memories light the corners of my mind...misty water-colored memorieeeessss...of the way we were... Here's a link to more titles in case a) someone wants to check out more of the series, or (less likely) b) purchase them all for me.DR. SEUSS BOOKS
The Dr. Seuss books are obligatory, I know, and all of them were truly pivotal in my development. I loved To Think that I Saw it on Mulberry Street (doubly fascinating because I actually did live near a Mulberry Street) and The Digging-est Dog was super cool cause I wanted to tunnel too. However, Are You My Mother? takes the cake, since it was central to my development as a Super Neurotic Individual. Before reading this book, I hadn't quite realized it was possible to lose one's mother. Such a thought introduced nights of hysterics as I pondered the loss of my own mother, and I envisioned myself a lonely soul indeed, much like the poor schmuck at the center of this book. At one point he even asks a backhoe if it's his mother. What a fucking jackass.LITTLE WOMEN
Louisa May Alcott's Little Women was one of the first books I ever cried at. I was so sad when the boring one died. Even though Little Women is pretty melodramatic, it didn't matter. I loved to envision Jo scribbling away in her little room and I loved the sense of sisterhood shared by the girls. I was disappointed when Jo didn't get to marry Laurie (although I was, to be honest, entirely too distracted by the idea of a boy named Laurie). I was scandalized by Jo's marrying the older Professor Bhaer, but I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to pronounce his name. Some mysteries endure.THE SECRET GARDEN
I currently don't have a copy of The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and I can only wonder why the hell not. This book had it all, and my earlier self couldn't help but love a book that featured all that I didn't have, growing up as I did in the city. First, there's a huge, beautiful (but mysterious) mansion, the great countryside that allowed for hours of play (I had a small patch of grass and was pretty much uninterested in it), and, of course, the beautiful English garden. To this day I don't think I'll ever be entirely happy without an English garden of my own. Doesn't look like it's going to happen, though. Oh well.FAIRIES AND ELVES
When I was a child, Time Life Books introduced the Enchanted World series. As a gift, I received one of the books, Fairies and Elves. For some reason I wasn't good enough to receive the entire series. That's okay, I'm sure I cried myself to sleep only a few times over it. Somehow my childhood copy disappeared and a few years ago, I hunted down the most of the set on eBay and enjoyed a trek back into my childhood. I must not have a read a single damn word as a child, though, because most of the tales seemed unfamiliar. As a child I was entranced by the pictures. I still like pretty pictures. I shouldn't have bought the entire series, though. Another example of my going overboard, just like the fifteen brownies I pounded last week. Still paying for those bastards, I am.THE LITTLE HOUSE BOOKS
I had this entire series, but I don't know if I ever finished them all. Maybe I did, but all I remember about them is a one-room log cabin. And the great, wide prairie. Dear god, the BOREDOM. I don't know how I felt about these books at the time, but thinking of them now gives me an almost papable sense of claustrophobia. Just picturing myself alone in a one-room log cabin with my entire family is enough to make me jump right off the roof of the nearest building. I can't even think about these books anymore -- even looking at that pasty yellow cover is enough to bring it all back. Let me just say that I enjoyed them at the time (I think) but I will never revisit ye olde little house.SWEET VALLEY TWINS / SWEET VALLEY HIGH
These two bitches drove me insane. First of all, they were friggin perfect. And they drove a Fiat, which I still can't figure out how to pronounce to this day. Oh, and everything was "in chaos." Chaos must have been dropped like every fifty pages. Pascal must have had some kind of chaos quota. When I was younger, I thought it was pronounced cha-hoes. It's cha-hoes in here! Only much later did I learn how to actually pronounce the word. Anyway, these books were responsible for my believing my teen years were supposed to be waaaay better than they were. No wonder I was so damn depressed as a youth. I was led to believe every teen was supposed to be like these two freaks. Now they're coming out with an updated version, and they're going to be even skinnier. I'm sure that will help young girls feel just grreat. By the way, how old is that dude the slut twin's dating up there? He looks like he's about 35. Good lord.BABYSITTER'S CLUB
What a bunch of losers these kids were. Let's start a club about babysitting. Yeah, whatever. I still loved these books, and I probably started an equally lame club in the spirit of their club. While I was a fan of these books, ironically enough, I never babysat. That came later, when my brother was born, and by that point, I didn't want to babysit, and no lame club would have convinced me it was fun, either. That was the thing about those books: the babysitting took a backseat to the friendships, which was all fine and well -- until you finally got a kid alone and thought it was going to be just peachy, just like in the books. And then he starts climbing the bookcase and calling you a fucking asshole and all of a sudden you're reminded that reality BLOWS.CHRISTOPHER PIKE
Man, I think that if someone were to have threatened my collection of Christopher Pike books, I would have cut his shit UP. These books were my heroin, my ecstasy, they were my life. This isn't surprising, given my penchant for scary movies. Christopher Pike books gave you all the thrill of scary movies ONLY IN BOOKS. That's genius!! Unfortunately, I'm afraid they won't stand the test of time. I bought a bunch last summer (again, on eBay) and I started to read Chain Letter again but it just wasn't the same. I don't know what I did with all my old Pike books; I feel like there's got to be a secret room in my mom's house that is currently containing all my lost treasures. Shit, it could have the Holy Grail in there for all I know. What I DO know is that I'm missing a shitload of stuff from over the years and I know myself too damn well to know that I'd never willingly give away a book, much less my Christopher Pike books. So mom, if you're reading this, your mission is to FIND MY STUFF. Seriously, there's an awesome sweater I just know is out there somewhere. Better get cracking!* * *
Hm. It seems that, in the process of writing this post, I've realized that ALL of these books are gone. WHERE ARE ALL MY OLD BOOKS, MOM??? She's gotta be hoarding them, I just know it. Like every once in awhile she'll just go into this secret box to inhale the stench of my childhood. She never did want me to get older. Like when I first entered high school, I wasn't allowed to hem my skirt, cause god forbid I'd look older. So here's me, the asshole with the skirt down practically to her ankles. And if she had her way, I'd still be there. ADMIT IT, MOM. Now give me back my books.
5 comments:
Funny, just yesterday my sister & I were talking about how booooooring the Little House books were.
Wow, that post brought back memories! Did you ever read The Boxcar Children series? That was one of my favorites (why, I don't know) as well. I remember being totally into Christopher Pike, as well as the Sweet Valley High books for a while. Did you ever see the the TV show based on the series? It is absolutely horrible!
I was defs not allowed to read that particular Sweet Valley High both because of the statuatory cover and because of the sssssscandalous title. My cousin owned it, though, and over Thanksgiving or something I stole it from her room, snuck into a linen closet, and read to my pre-teen heart's content.
"I was so sad when the boring one died."
This is the funniest thing I've read all day.
And about the SVH book cover you posted - the one with the mustachioed gentleman on the cover: that was our absolute favorite book in the series when I was in elementary school because Mr. Mustachioed unties the slutty one's bikini top while they're swimming.
It was pretty steamy reading for a lunch table of fourth graders.
OMG - I had that Fairies and Elves book too! I completely forgot about it until I saw the cover you posted. When I was a kid I thought it was SO COOL. :) And the Secret Garden was a favorite too, and Serendipity the dragon ... Man, I thought I was DONE with my Weekly Geeks post but I might have to go back and add more ... AGAIN.
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