Back from the dead.

SO, life, in all its wonders has intervened since my last post many eons ago.

Life + stress + work = no time for blogging -- which figures, because I totally killed the RIP challenge. Of course I would be too busy to gloat recap the first time I've ever successfully completed a challenge.


SIGH.


So, anyway, here's a bunch of stuff I've read lately in order of awesomeness:


Outlander, by Diana Gabaldon

• SASSENACH! GAH JAMIE I LURVEEEE YOU. Why are you so hot and yet so fictional? WHY OH WHY are there no magical rocks that can buzz me backwards in time?? (Also, why do they not smell? Because the entire time, I just kept thinking that everyone must stink to high heaven.) Anyway, they gave this shit away for free on Amazon. HELLO, THIS BOOK IS WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN GOLD. How dare Amazon give this gem away for free? Anyway, completely insane and completely awesome. I immediately finished it and downloaded the second book in the series. Jamie Fraser 4eva!!1

The Gates, by John Connolly

• Short, lovely little tale about the gates of Hell opening up in someone's basement. And, there's Nurd, who's actually a lovely little demon. Charming and fun.

Dark Harvest, by Norman Partridge

• This one was nice, fast, and spooky. Oh, and it qualified for RIP, for what that's worth. Some pumpkin kid comes to life and the town's teens have to destroy him before Bad Things happen. Note: It was much better than I'm making it sound.

Neverland, by Douglas Clegg

• This one was atmospheric, Southern Gothicky, and a little disturbing. Isolated children get up to no good and they may or may not be making sacrifices to the devil. And then Bad Things happen. Also, RIP. This one was pretty good, although it didn't ruffle my muffin or anything.

Dead City, by Joe McKinney

• Apparently this one's about zombies, although I needed google to remind me about that. Still, it was a good story and got me through more than a few goes on the treadmill. Also, not a total bummer of an ending. And, RIP.

33 A.D., by David McAfee

• This one involves vampires and Jesus. Apparently vampires were the ones responsible for the crucifixion of Christ. Who knew? Actually not as bad as this sounds, although there's a reason it's at the bottom of this list. But still, vampires + Jesus, so take from that what you will. And, RIP.

Finally, I'm also reading like a dozen other things that I've stopped about halfway though because Gabaldon and her web of fantasy have rendered me impossible to read like a normal adult. And, that life thing again.

Hopefully normal posting will resume soon.

Want to cure an obsession? Get another one.

Dr. Haggard's Disease
Patrick McGrath

Oh, Mr. McGrath. You are so wonderful. So literary, yet so Gothic. You tax my brain at the same time you chill my spine. How I love you.

Anyway, not so long ago (or almost two years!? insert obligatory lament re: time flying, and all that), I read a wee little tale called Asylum, and my love for Patrick McGrath was born. Alas, I had not the time nor the insight to seek out more of his work -- until now. Now that I've read my second McGrath, it's nearly all I can do to stop myself from buying every single thing the man's ever written. SO. GOOD.

Ok, so - Dr. Haggard's Disease. Dr. Haggard, injured and alone, has retired to a gothic manor to obsess over his lost love. As a young doctor, he had a brief but torrid affair with Fanny, the wife of a senior staff member. Unfortunately THINGS HAPPEN, and now Dr. Haggard is, well, a bit haggard. Now Fanny-less, he pines for his lost life -- until he receives a visit from Fanny's young son. And then he gets REALLY WEIRD.

In a nutshell: Love. Obsession. Addiction. Haunting, rhythmic prose. A crumbling seaside mansion. What's not to love?

Bibliolatry Scale: 5 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: This one's all mine. And so shall every other McGrath out there. You've been warned.

RIPV: Thanks to its Gothic nature, Dr. Haggard's Disease most definitely counts toward this year's RIP challenge. I'm killing this challenge! KILLING IT!

More bore than gore

Patient Zero
Jonathan Maberry

So, the terrorists are coming, and they've got biological weapons!! What, you've heard this one before?

Ok, then how about: the terrorists are coming, and they've got biological weapons that turn people into flesh-eating zombies. dum dum DUM!!!

So goes the plot of Jonathan Maberry's Patient Zero. Baltimore detective Joe Ledger has just found himself smack in the middle of a terror plot of epic proportions. A group of religious zealots has created Seif al Din, the sword of the faithful, a disease that will wreak havoc on the heathen West. Fast foward a bit, and yadda yadda yadda battle to save humanity blah blah blah zombies.

Yeah, this is a book about zombies, so one should expect a certain level of grit and violence. So far, so good. The action was gritty, the violence was high, and the zombies were hungry. Still, some things annoyed me. The religious zealots, for example. I mean, really? A zombie plague? You sure that won't come back to bite you in the ass? Ok, fine, logical reasoning might not be a fundamentalist's strong point.

But fundamentalist logic aside, those pesky flaws remain. Some parts needed editing and dragged on a bit when they were supposed to be suspenseful. Some aspects were a bit too unbelievable (in a zombie book, I know -- ironic), and some cliches could have been dispensed with. Finally, a few characters were so flat and two-dimensional I couldn't tell them apart. Sigh.

In a nutshell: More cop than zombie. More bore than gore. Oh well.

Bibliolatry Scale: 2.5 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Checked out this bad boy from the library. Have I cured my shopping addiction, you wonder? Ah, no.

RIPV: Even though Patient Zero didn't make me poop in my pants, it still counts toward this year's RIP challenge.

The Classics Circuit: Alexander Pushkin

Eugene Onegin
Alexander Pushkin

Poor Pushkin has long suffered the fate of an impulsive buy.

A few years ago, I purchased Eugene Onegin knowing only it was Russian lit, which I needed to read more of beyond Dostoevsky. I arrived home and cracked open my purchase only to find a novel in verse!

[Insert party-stopping record scratch here]

Say what?

And so, poor Pushkin has sat unread on my shelf for many a year now. Thankfully, this latest installment of the Classics Circuit has given me the kick in the butt I needed to conquer this thing.

I'll say this: Eugene Onegin is not what you'd call a summer read. I wouldn't go so far as to say it's a difficult read, but it's definitely not an easy one. The translation (by Charles Johnston) makes for smooth enough reading, but our narrator digresses, rambles, philosophizes...oh boy. But I pressed on, ever the loyal CC participant.

The story is simple enough: Onegin is rich and bored with life. He flits from party to party -- oh, the emptiness of his life. Then, his uncle dies and Onegin inherits his house in the county. Alas! The country is just as boring as the city! So, he spends his days TORTUROUSLY: reading, walking by the river, and hanging out with his new friend, Lensky. In other words, his life totally sucks. (At least he doesn't he doesn't assault a remote, though.)

Eugene Onegin: first on the emo scene

Anyway, Lensky is head over heels in love with Olga. Fast forward a bit, and Olga's older sister, Tatyana, soon falls in love with the undeserving Onegin.

Tanya's in love with Onegin, Onegin's in love with Onegin -- this won't end well. And why should it? Onegin is utterly unsympathetic. It's a bit problematic to have a condescending, pompous prick as the work's hero -- I couldn't muster up a bit of feeling for him.

Ultimately, this work left me cold due to the unlikability of the "hero" and the narrator's numerous digressions. (Tatyana's pretty badass, though.) The action was drawn out, so I found myself skimming much more than I should probably admit. That said, Pushkin's achievement is undeniable: at nearly 400 stanzas and featuring an innovative rhyme scheme (a.k.a. the Onegin stanza), Eugene Onegin is no paltry accomplishment.

In a nutshell: Onegin may be a turd, but Pushkin is okay in my book.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Personal copy

Insert "Release the Kraken" joke here

Kraken
China Mieville

Dude.

Sometimes, when you finish a book like Kraken, that's all you can say.

Dude.

I've waited a bit to write this review in an effort to allow the effects of the novel to settle a bit. Still, "Dude" is all I can manage even now, days later.

Kraken was my first encounter with Mieville, despite The City and the City being on my TBR list for an eternity now. I had expected his work to be intelligent, weird, maybe even a little difficult to plow through, but I underestimated what was in store for me. Simply put, Kraken is awe-inspiring.

Although a simple summary is near impossible, let's see what I can manage: the novel begins as Billy Harrow leads a tour through the Darwin Center only to find the centerpiece of its exhibit, an eight-meter-long giant squid, has disappeared -- tank and all. Investigators are baffled.

Billy soon finds himself thrown into a world he never knew existed: one full of thugs, sorcerers, Londonmancers, strange cults (like the Krakenists who worship the giant squid, obviously), and more. It isn't long before Billy discovers the missing Kraken will bring about the apocalypse. Oh noes!

my bad

This fast-paced, labyrinthine novel will make you work (it's 500 pages and feels like it), but it's worth it. The large cast of characters might be unnecessary but I was so entertained and fascinated by them that I didn't care. (C'mon -- Tattoo? Hysterical. Goss and Subby? Mesmerizing. Wati? Genius.)

Besides, watching each group duke it out over a giant squid is ANYTHING but boring. And what will happen when the squid is found? Can the end of the world be avoided? Or will it all go up in flames? You'll want to find out -- and the answer will be anything but predictable.

In a nutshell: Awesome, awesome, awesome. Kraken grips readers from the onset and tears right through to the end. Once it gets its tentacles around you, escape is impossible.

Bibliolatry Scale: 5.5 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Personal, hardcover copy over here. woot woot

Ambivalating all over the place

Beatrice and Virgil
Yann Martel

Well, it's been roughly two weeks since I finished Beatrice and Virgil, Yann Martel's newest novel, and to say I'm perplexed is an understatement. Did I like the book? Hate it? Ambivalate it? Hopefully writing this review will help me solve the mystery.

To begin, a brief overview: Beatrice and Virgil is Martel's way of discussing the Holocaust without *actually* discussing the Holocaust. He argues that of all the great atrocities of the world, only the Holocaust has avoided greater attention in fiction, and once those who have lived through it pass away, we are in danger of forgetting -- unless we tell stories about it. To this end, he has written Beatrice and Virgil, a "story" about the Holocaust that uses animals to represent those who suffered.

Okay, so animals as allegorical figures? Check. Conversational, intimate style? Check. Shocking, gut-wrenching ending? Check. Sounds a lot like Life of Pi, eh? Then why am I so ambivalent?

To start, one must know that Beatrice and Virgil is no Life of Pi. Pi remains one of my favorite novels and has for me a mystical quality that Beatrice and Virgil simply lacks. So, perhaps BAV suffers simply for not being Pi. In that case, Martel was doomed before I even picked up the damn thing, which isn't exactly fair.

But even apart from the obligatory Pi comparisons, Beatrice and Virgil has its problems. In my opinion, using animals as an allegory for the Holocaust was somewhat weak, the Beckettian absurdism unnecessary; worse, some parts were underdeveloped, and some parts OVERdeveloped.

That's not to say I didn't like Beatrice and Virgil: it was a short read, as I read it in a few hours and was relatively moved by the experience. The novel made me think, and I enjoyed Martel's narrative voice even if this work was flawed.

Ultimately, even if some elements were a bit weak, Martel achieves what he sets out to do: he reminds us of the atrocities of the Holocaust (even if the reminder only underscores the fact that the animals' suffering in no way compares to that of those who suffered under the Nazis), and he uses fiction as a means of telling the truth.

In a nutshell: I still don't know. It was...okay-ish?

Bibliolatry Scale: 3.5 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: I was lucky to receive a review copy from the publisher, and, even though I didn't LOVE it...Thanks!

Not even Stains could save this one

The Knife of Never Letting Go
Patrick Ness

As part of my on-going effort to avoid another reading funk, I've surrounded myself with "quick reads" to keep me moving. Based on the many reviews I've read of The Knife of Never Letting Go, I figured this combination of dystopia, thriller, and bildungsroman was guaranteed to excite.

The narrator of The Knife of Never Letting Go, Todd Hewitt, lives in Prentisstown, where the thoughts of men and animals are heard by everyone. This Noise, as it's called, makes life nearly unbearable, as true privacy and peace are impossible to find. The novel opens as Todd and his dog, Manchee, find something they've never found before: silence. Soon, Todd's running for his life and yadda yadda yadda. So, did The Knife of Never Letting Go live up to the hype?

Unfortunately, no.

Todd annoyed me. Even Manchee, the talking dog, annoyed me -- and I love dogs. However, I soon replaced my original image of Manchee with Stains, the internet's beloved hypnodog, and my love for Manchee soared.

"Poo! Poo!" says Manchee ... over and over (and over)

Alas, that which annoyed me nearly outweighed that which didn't. Todd's voice was uneven and clunky, the plotting was fast-paced but silly in places, and, while I am intrigued by a world where thoughts are public, the overall execution was a bit weak for me.

Or maybe TKoNLG suffered from poor timing. I've just read several EXCELLENT books, one of which I'm still unable to post about, it was that good (and no, it is NOT The Savage Detectives, thank you for asking), so it was inevitable I'd find fault with TKoNLG. That said, TKoNLG was a fast, light read perfect for breaking a funk.

In a nutshell: Flawed but fast-paced, The Knife of Never Letting Go is relentless and and entertaining, to a point.

Bibliolatry Scale: 2 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Personal copy (shut up)

A guide to navigation in perilous times

The Time Traveler's Guide to Medieval England
Ian Mortimer

I don't read a lot of nonfiction, and when I do, it's almost never history. Still, Jen's review of The Time Traveler's Guide to Medieval England forced me to run out and grab this book immediately.

The tone is so conversational, the material so fascinating, that I blew through the book in a day or two. True, I skimmed some parts, but I was pleased overall. Mortimer takes us through Medieval England as though -- you might have guessed by the title -- we were a time traveler having landed in medieval England.

Mortimer very throughly covers the landscape, people, medieval character, basic essentials (such as dates, units of measurement, and manners and politeness), clothing, traveling, where to stay (an inn? what about a monastery?), food and drink, health and hygiene (now there's an eye-opening chapter!), the law, and what to do (which provides not only a discussion of the activities the medieval people enjoyed, but also gives an overview of the literary landscape).

At right: a leper ringing his bell -- stay away!

I began by thinking that this book would be an excellent resource for my classroom; little did I expect it to be such a page-turner. If you're even a little interested in medieval England, you'd do well to check out this very thorough guide. (In fact, despite a few slow parts, this book is nearly perfect.)

In a nutshell: Conversational, fascinating, and thorough, Mortimer's Guide is a must for teachers, students, and readers alike.

Bibliolatry Scale: 5.5 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Yet another book I purchased for myself. Get off my back, feds!

Monsters, they are everywhere

The Monster of Florence
Douglas Preston and Mario Spezi

In this in-depth look at the Monster of Florence, the serial killer plaguing the area since the early 70s, thriller writer Douglas Preston has paired up with Italian reporter Mario Spezi to detail the specifics of the case and highlight whom they believe is the guilty party.

The Monster of Florence began shooting pairs of lovers in parked cars. He didn't stop there, though: the women (of course) were horribly mutilated, and pieces of them were removed -- and never found. Who could commit such a crime? Ten years later, and the killer is still at large, striking fear into the heart of everyone in the area.

Fast-forward a bit, and Douglas Preston arrives in the area to research a new novel. He'll never write this novel, discovering instead the Monster of Florence and his fascination with the case. He begins to research the crime, along with pal Mario Spezi, and the result is this book. Their investigation leads to a number of the investigations inadequacies and mistakes, so it's no surprise when they fall under the suspicious eye of the police. (Preston is unable to return to Italy to this day.)

At right: Douglas Preston

The Monster of Florence is as much about Florence as it is about the Monster. Preston and Spezi explain the underlying ideologies of the city's inhabitants, especially the need to save face and the compulsion to find conspiracy everywhere. Such a mindset, coupled with a particularly wily criminal, have allowed the Monster to escape prosecution.

My biggest complaint is the lack of pictures. A few pages of glossy pictures appear toward the end of the book, and yet not everyone central to the case is pictured. Some people mentioned only once or twice are pictured while others not at all. That's a small beef, though, and anyone interested in the case will be pleased with this effort.

In a nutshell: Mostly fast-paced and entirely true, The Monster of Florence is an intriguing look at some very recent -- and disturbing -- events.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Yet another Christmas present; no publisher ties here.

First Impressions lead to False Ideas

Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart
Beth Pattillo

In Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart, Beth Pattillo brings us another romantic mystery involving the work of Jane Austen.

Her previous novel, Jane Austen Ruined My Life, involves a bunch of long-lost letters written by the author. This time, the mystery surrounds the long-lost first draft of Pride and Prejudice.

Claire Prescott, arriving at Oxford to present her sister's a paper to a summer symposium, quickly finds herself in the midst of Another Austen Adventure. She meets an elderly woman claiming to have the mythical First Draft tucked into the odd nooks and crannies of her home. BUT, she could be suffering from dementia. OR, she could be telling the truth. WHAT TO DO?

Wait, there's more! Soon after arriving at Oxford, she meets her own Mr. Darcy, a handsome, dashing gentleman also attending the symposium. Ruh roh: what about her boyfriend at home? OH NO WHAT TO DO??

In all, Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart is a light, entertaining little book that even non-Austen fans (like myself) can enjoy. Unfortunately, I didn't enjoy it as much as Jane Austen Ruined My Life, but Pattillo still provided me with several hours of escape.

In a nutshell: Fast-paced, entertaining, and somewhat predictable, Mr. Darcy Broke My Heart teaches that not every dashing, handsome gentleman deserves to be adored.

Bibliolatry Scale: 3.5 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: This book was sent to me by the publisher.

The politest argument ever

Daphne
Justine Picardie

It's no secret that I love Daphne du Maurier; when I saw Daphne, historical fiction centered on her obsession with Branwell Bronte (ooh! and I love the Brontes, too!), I knew this book was destined for me.

The plot revolves around several key characters: du Maurier herself, eager to prove herself a "real" author by completing a biography of Branwell, the forgotten Bronte, that puts him in a new light; J.A. Symington, a former member of a Bronte expert who may not have honestly gained some of his most prized possessions; and, finally, our young (unnamed) narrator who finds herself in the middle of a real-life du Maurier novel just as she struggles to complete her own du Maurier studies.

At right: Daphne at work

While the plot was interesting, several things failed for me. The narrator's journey is simply not interesting, and I hated being taken from the world of du Maurier and Symington in order to return to this fool's problems. She's, what, 23 and married to some recently-divorced scholar 20 years her senior. Not surprisingly, he can't get over his first wife, and he doesn't respect her scholarly interest in du Maurier, and he's so condescending and blah blah blah.

Also, the dialogue. When moving between du Maurier and Symington, no problem. But when writing current dialogue...whoa. Not good. For example, during a scene in which our lovely young narrator argues with her husband's ex-wife, she says, "Rachel, don't be arch with me, and please stop manipulating me." Arch? Really? And, "please stop manipulating me"? This narrator needs a good case of "Bitch, step OFF." Or, maybe even something non-verbal?



'Nuff said.

In a nutshell: Daphne and Symington provide an intriguing tale; unfortunately, the narrator doesn't fare as well. Still, reading Daphne taught me more about one of my favorite writers.

Bibliolatry Scale: 3 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: I received Daphne as part of as part of LibraryThing's Early Reviewer program.

(what felt like) The Neverending Story

Last Last Chance
Fiona Maazel

This one is an odd duck, since I both liked and disliked Last Last Chance.

The premise seemed intriguing: A lethal strain of virus -- superplague -- vanishes from a lab. The epidemic, not to mention a healthy dose of panic and paranoia, runs rampant. Even worse, Lucy's (now dead) father is to blame, although Lucy's got bigger fish to fry. She's battling addiction and her own inner demons; her family doesn't fare much better. Her mom's a crackhead. Her "true love" married her best friend. And so on.

Unfortunately, the intriguing premise did not translate into an enjoyable novel, and I nearly abandoned it after the first fifty pages. I just couldn't connect to the story -- there was too much going on, too many characters I couldn't care about. Nevertheless, I persevered, and ultimately found Last Last Chance to be just okay.

The good: Maazel's prose, reminiscent of Amy Hempel, is glorious. Her writing appears effortless and natural, and I was frequently struck by a neat turn of phrase. If it weren't for her prose, I probably wouldn't have finished the novel.

The bad: The length. And, to a certain extent, the story. Last Last Chance is ambitious, and Maazel's tackling a lot in it. Unfortunately, the story feels too crowded -- not to mention too long. The novel could have lost a good quarter without being the worse for wear. I also couldn't find any sympathy for any of these characters (except for the grandma, but c'mon, who doesn't love a grandma?), and I almost wanted someone to get superplague just to take the story up a notch. THAT woulda been entertaining!

In a nutshell: I wasn't a fan of Last Last Chance, but Maazel's prose makes her one to watch.

Bibliolatry Scale: 3 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: I received Last Last Chance as part of LibraryThing's Early Reviewer program.

We can never be clean

Wise Blood
Flannery O'Connor

In Flannery O'Connor's first novel, Hazel Motes, grandson of an evangelical preacher, wants to escape his disturbing understanding of God. Haunted by Christ and unable to escape Him, Motes founds the Church of Christ Without Christ and preaches his ideas to any and all who would listen.

Unfortunately, things happen that stand in his way. And then OTHER things happen which are (a) pretty crazy, (b) contrary to Motes' actions and purported beliefs, and (c) provide the reader with O'Connor's opinions regarding Roman Catholicism.

Clearly, Wise Blood is a Very Important Book with Very Important Things to Say. That much is clear. Additionally, the prose is as fresh and as clear as a mountain spring. (Did I really just write that? I'm sorry.) Anyway, the point is, I was able to tear through this novel in a matter of hours.

At right: Brad Dourif as Hazel Motes

And now, for the single drawback: I couldn't connect emotionally to the book at all. I felt bad for Motes at times (especially by the end of the novel), but I didn't understand him. I "get" what O'Connor is trying to say via his character, but Motes himself is alien to me.

That said, Wise Blood is obviously profound and thought-provoking: I finished the book a couple of weeks ago and have been turning it over in my mind ever since. But that doesn't mean I enjoyed the experience.

Is that necessary, though? To a certain extent, it is -- for me, at least.

In a nutshell: A classic that is not necessarily enjoyable, but one that will leave you pondering for days.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Another Christmas present! Thus, no icky ties to disclose.

It cannot have happened. It happened.

The Egyptologist
Arthur Phillips

I think this book is cursed.

I received this on Christmas morn, thanks to Santa. (Ok, it was my husband.) And I squee-ed with glee, because I loved Phillips' Angelica, and I love All Things Egypt, hence I knew I would love The Egyptologist. I began reading it the day after Christmas, and I was hooked from the opening pages.

And then the unthinkable happened. Shuffling across my living room in my cheap, shoddy slippers, I tripped -- I kid you not -- over what could only have been air. The pile of stuff in my hands -- The Egyptologist among the items -- went flying to the four corners of the room as I fell to the floor. I watched my prized novel tumble down slowly, turning over and over and over again (clearly, this happened in slow motion, mind you), and I watched as it landed a few feet away from me. To give you a visual of the event and how I went down like a ton of bricks (although stairs were not involved), I present Exhibit A:

Upon my recovery, I stood, dazed and slightly injured (have no fear, ducks, I am fine), and raced to my dear Phillips. Alas, he did not fare so well. The spine was cracked, the first third of the book lying at a painful angle. The cover was maimed, and a black Sharpie only partially masked the damage. My heart, however, fared far worse. Of all my new books, I prized this one most highly. AND IT LOOKS LIKE A TURD RIGHT NOW.

Anyway. I bring this up because The Egyptologist is GLORIOUS, it is breathtaking, it is heartbreaking -- oh Trilipush! Alas. AND THEN my dear Heather J. tells me that NEARLY NO ONE in the blogosphere likes The Egyptologist, save for us. SAY WHAT?!?!?! Error 404 Page not found. Does not compute. And so on.

Ok fine, let me tell you about the book. There's some Egypt. And some unreliability. (Done right, mind you, unlike, say, THIS.) And, there's a bit of a mystery. And while the great revelation concerning said mystery becomes clear to anyone with a brain about halfway through, that's not the point. The point is how different people totally misread the obvious signs that are right in front of them. It's about yearning, and about loss, and about wanting to be greater than we are. It's also gripping and the ending is INSANE. Trilipush!

So, you should read it. And, because my summary sucks and is mostly about me, here's the summary from Arthur Phillips' website:

Just as Howard Carter unveils the tomb of Tutankhamun, making the most dazzling find in the history of archaeology, Oxford-educated Egyptologist Ralph Trilipush is digging himself into trouble, having staked his professional reputation and his fiancée's fortune on a scrap of hieroglyphic pornography. Meanwhile, a relentless Australian detective sets off on the case of his career, spanning the globe in search of a murderer. And another murderer. And possibly another murderer. The confluence of these seemingly separate stories results in an explosive ending, at once inevitable and utterly unpredictable.

In a nutshell: Read this, dear friends. And don't ef your copy up like I did.

Bibliolatry Scale: 5.5 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Dear Santa brought me this one. No strings attached here.

Another day, another apocalypse

The Suicide Collectors
David Oppegaard

Another book about the end of the world! What can I say, I've been feeling a little apocalyptic.

Anyway, this one's an odd duck. So, right: the end of the world has come, this time due to the suicide of nearly everyone on the planet. After some time, these odd "suicide collectors" arrive to collect the body of the deceased. Time passes, and, as our novel opens, our protagonist (Norman) and his friend (Pops), hearing rumors of survivors in Seattle, decide to leave their homes in Florida to see what's up.

As our story unfolds, taking us through the ruins of America, we encounter survivors, who are handling the apocalypse in different ways. Some are good, some are bad, you get the point. Onward to Seattle.

Upon arriving in Seattle, Norman becomes mixed up with the scientists attempting to solve the suicide problem. And then he blows something up, although what it is, I was never sure. Unfortunately, that's the major problem with The Suicide Collectors: there's no explanation. Why did everyone start killing themselves? I dunno. Why do the collectors collect the bodies? What are they doing with them? Not sure. What is this mysterious thing Norman blows up? Not sure of that, either.

The Suicide Collectors suffers from other flaws as well; some scenes are simply too incredible, the characters somewhat flat. On the positive side, however, the plotting is fantastic and the novel barrels along, allowing me to read it entirely in the course of a few hours.

In a nutshell: Interesting idea, but a lack of explanation and clunky writing undermines the intriguing premise.

Bibliolatry Scale: 2 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Yep, bought this one too.

There isn't enough Purell in the world

The Hot Zone
Richard Preston

The Hot Zone is a book I read in November. Thankfully, after this, I'll be all caught up and will be able to cover some December reads. NICE.

I don't know why, but I've been reading a lot of disturbing books lately, mostly one that involves end-of-the-world scenarios. And while The Hot Zone doesn't necessarily concern the end of the world, it was apocalyptic enough for me.

The Hot Zone is all about EBOLA. In fact, that's how I imagine the word in my head: all in caps. It's just that intense. Lord knows I'm paranoid enough about such things, so I can only wonder what possessed me to read this book. (Actually, I do know. It was Heather's review of it. Gee, thanks, Heather.) Needless to say, if EBOLA ever hits my area, I'm throwing myself in front of a bus at the first warning symptom. I'll be damned if I'm going to endure the grueling progression of this disease.

Wait -- what? It sloughs...off? And comes out where???
FML.

Besides the disturbing nature of the book (which the sick part of me took delight in), there were some drawbacks. I had an issue with the organization of the book, since it jumped around a bit in parts, and a few parts dragged while others were repetitive. Overall, however, The Hot Zone was a frightening, all-too-real read. And I won't even mention the part about how EBOLA arrived in Washington D.C. a little over a decade ago. FEARPARANOIAVOMIT.

In a nutshell: Not for the faint of heart, The Hot Zone is a terrifying true story that reminds why I hate leaving my house and interacting with dirty humans.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: I bought this one for my library, in case I ever want to enjoy the gruesomeness again.

An unconventional, unsettling ghost story

Her Fearful Symmetry
Audrey Niffenegger

I've recently had the pleasure of reviewing Audrey Niffenegger's latest novel for Pajiba.

I adored The Time-Traveler's Wife, so I was eager to see what her latest effort was all about.

While it doesn't reach the heights of TTTW, Her Fearful Symmetry is both intriguing and unsettling. To read my full review, kindly click here.

In a nutshell: Compelling and moving, with a truly unforgettable ending. Everyone won't like it, but everyone will have an opinion about it.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: I received a copy of Her Fearful Symmetry from the publisher.

He who cannot lie does not know what the truth is

Company of Liars
Karen Maitland

It's 1348. Plague is tearing across Europe and has reached Britain's ports, slowly worming its way inward. Added to the mix is a bout of ye olde climate change, resulting in dead crops and starving people. Is anywhere safe in these pestilence-ridden times?

Nine travelers, each with a secret, has ignored a predilection for isolation in an attempt to survive in the company of others. This group -- including a relic seller, a story-teller, an expecting couple, and a pale, ghostly child who reads the runes -- attempt to flee the pestilence by reaching the north. As you might expect, it will be easier said than done.

As the title suggests, these individuals are not the most honest of souls. As their journey progresses, the truth slowly unravels. To be fair, quite a few secrets can be seen from miles away, but Maitland reserves a few, truly surprising aces up her sleeve for the very end. And the final page? Ohh shit!

I can't say anymore without ruining the fun, but I will say that Company of Liars features the best of historical fiction: Maitland has clearly done her research, but she doesn't allow the story to be bogged down by heavy-handed swaths of information. Company of Liars is seamless, flowing, and utterly un-put-down-able.

Has anyone read any of Maitland's previous novels? I'd love to know what you thought. Company of Liars was so good that I want to read more of her.

In a nutshell: I also want some runes. Like, for real.

Bibliolatry Scale: 5 out of 6 stars

a choice between truth and repose

Angelica
Arthur Phillips

Well, it's that time of year again, a time when quiet and relaxation are replaced with work and stress. That's right, summer's over, and I'm headed back to school. As a result, things have been pretty quiet around here. Progress on that stupid resolution is slow, and non-educational reading has been pretty nonexistent.

That said, I was able to read Angelica, and the fact that I was able to read it despite having so much "real" stuff to do is a testament to the novel's awesomeness. In fact, once I started it, I wasn't able to keep my mind on much else.

Angelica's one of those novels that gives readers the same story from several different perspectives, and even though I've read plenty of books that use this technique, I've never before encountered it done to such effect. The result is a twisting, serpentine version of what is true that illustrates how contradictory the truth can be.

Although the specifics differ with each version, the setup is always the same. Victorian England. A family torn apart by powerful forces. A mother fights for the survival of her daughter. But what, you're probably asking, is happening to the child. Well, now, that remains to be seen.

Angelica is part mystery, part ghost story, part psychological examination -- and no part disappoints. Each person's version of the truth is correct, even though it might differ from the account of another. I sympathized with each character, and I was fascinated by how each person's version of the truth was somehow correct, even as it totally differed from the other accounts.

In a nutshell: Saying more will ruin the fun; you'll just have to take my word for it. Angelica is a powerful, unforgettable novel that shows how totally different perceptions can be equally accurate.

Bibliolatry Scale: 5 out of 6 stars

If it tastes good, spit it out

The Liberation Diet: Setting America Free from the Bondage of Health Misinformation!
Kevin Brown and Annette Presley

For the record, I think diet books and weight-loss plans are stupid. As someone who has struggled with her weight (and who has lost a good amount of poundage as well), I know losing weight isn't easy. Sure, I'd like nothing more than to eat pizza and french fries while sitting my ass on the sofa with a good book, but doing so will prevent me looking the way I want to look. Eating healthy foods, eating smaller portions, and exercising daily are unfortunately the only way to go.

The authors of The Liberation Diet, however, take issue with the current notion of what constitutes "healthy" food. In fact, they even go so far as to say that a lot of exercise isn't necessary. Hm. You know what they say: if it sounds too good to be true...

First, a run down of some of their main points:

1. Crisco is actually industrial waste marketed as a healthy alternative to lard and butter. Beware this and other false foods.

2. The USDA food guide pyramid (with the base -- and largest portion -- devoted to grains) was specifically designed to boost the sale of agricultural products; it was NOT designed to promote health. In fact, a great number of industries benefit from our current food guide pyramid -- not individual Americans and their health. Instead, one should buy locally grown, fresh food, which cannot be mass produced and distributed.

3. Animal fats are good for you - in fact, the authors note that "the heart gets its fuel from saturated fat, and it is the only organ in the body that does not succumb to cancer."

4. Carbohydrates (even whole grains) make you fat and one should not eat more than two servings of them a day.

5. Calorie counting is a waste of time because there is no way to be totally sure how many calories are being consumed or burned at any given time.

6. Instead of following the current recommendation of several small meals a day, one should eat 2 to 3 meals a day.

7. One should only eat breakfast if hungry.

8. Fasting, at least in moderation, is good.

9. Pretty much ignore food labels, since many are misleading. However, if a food has more than 12g of carbs or 5g of sugar, don't eat it.

10. Exercise accounts for only 20% of weight loss; diet accounts for 80%.


THE GOOD

1. Many of their points are sound, but a lot are common sense. It should hardly come as a surprise that Crisco is a fake food and therefore bad for you.

2. As for point #3 above, it sounds good, but then again those six vodka-cranberries sounded good to me last Friday, and look where they got me.

3. I'm all about point #9. In fact, I'll go even further and say that if there isn't at least 4g of fiber in those 12g, pass on it.


THE BAD

1. The exclamation mark at the end of the super-long title is a bit twee, don't you think?

2. I wholly disagree with their stance on calorie counting. I know we can never be totally sure of how many calories we consume (then again, can we ever be truly sure of anything? sigh.), but to discount calorie counting as a whole seems a bit dumb. I personally got my chubby ass in to some EXTREMELY TINY pants through constant calorie counting and daily exercise AND YES I COULD CUT A BITCH AFTER SEVERAL MONTHS OF SUCH DEPRIVATION but it was all worth it. Right? Right????

3. Fasting may be good in theory, but just ask my husband how lovely I am after I haven't eaten for a few hours.

4. I take issue with point #7. I'm very pro-breakfast. In fact, I'm a big fan of the "inverted pyramid" approach to eating: my breakfast is my biggest meal, lunch is medium-sized, and my dinner is quite small. Takes some getting used to but has worked quite well for me.

And that, ultimately, is what I think many need to keep in mind when it comes to dieting: what works for one person might not work for another. So take this approach with a grain of salt. But not too much salt. Salt makes you bloated, even if it IS quite tasty.

In a nutshell: I still say eat a little and exercise a lot, but what do I know? Still, The Liberation Diet taught me some things I didn't know, reaffirmed some things I did, and made me disagree with still others.

Bibliolatry Scale: 3.5 out of 6 stars