Finger lickin' good

The Lecturer's Tale
James Hynes

Imagine having the power to make your dreams a reality. What would you do? How far would you go?

Nelson Humboldt, a just-fired adjunct lecturer at a middling university, finds himself in exactly this situation after his index fingered is severed in a freak accident. Of course, doctors are able to reattach it, but wait -- his finger now comes with powers!

It isn't long before Nelson realizes he can (to quote from the back of the book because the back is saying it better than I'm thinking it) "force his will on others with a touch of his finger."

Imagine the possibilities! You could create peace, harmony, goodwill among men! Or, a more selfish sort might walk into a bank and emerge a millionaire -- without anyone calling the police. The fate of the free world would be in your hands finger!

Nelson, however, is a simpler sort. He just wants tenure. Securing himself a position in the English department is all the man really wants. And it isn't long before he'll do anything -- anything -- to get it.

Wait -- WHAT???

So, THE MAN CAN FORCE HIS WILL ON OTHERS AND HE JUST WANTS TENURE???

TENURE???

Sorry.

It's good that Nelson aims straight for the middle, though, because he isn't the smartest guy, or the most moral. What ensues is biting satire of both human desire and academia. There are some madcap scenes, lots of literary hijinks, and some outright hilarity.

Unfortunately, there are some flaws. Some scenes could be condensed a bit (although the prose itself is clear and precise), and the end is just ... weird. While some have found the ending to ruin an otherwise wonderful novel, I was able to take it all in stride. I mean, what do you expect -- the dude's got a dead, electric finger. Shit's gonna get weird.

In a nutshell: Despite its flaws, The Lecturer's Tale is intelligent, comic, and full of literary fun.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Yet another personal copy; not sure I even know what a library is anymore.

Awards!

Although I far from deserve such accolades, several kind bloggers have bestowed upon me some awards. Woohoo!



Cheryl at Wandering (and wondering) through YA Lit and Sarah at Loving Books have given me the Versatile Blogger Award.

The rules of this award are to share seven things about yourself and then to pass this award on to 15 blogs I've recently discovered.

1. Seven things are really hard to think of. This is because I am lazy. There: fact numero uno! Besides, I suppose it's time I face the harsh glare of reality so far as my laziness is concerned.

2. I have three furry children (all dogs) and I love them to pieces. Yes, I am one of THOSE people.

3. Plants vs Zombies never gets old. (See #1.)

4. I love to bake but hate to cook, even though my cooking skills are no longer sub-par.

5. I am extremely anti-social and would probably only leave the house to go to work, if it weren't for my wonderful husband.

6. I am very addicted to celebrity gossip. ONTD, Go Fug Yourself, Dlisted, and (although I hate to admit it) Perez Hilton are my favorite websites.

7. I love cheesy sci-fi / horror flicks, so long as they don't involve mutated insects, dragons, or giant piranhas. Please to zombies, axe-murderers (the Michael Myers kind, not the Saw/Hostel kind), natural disasters, general boogeymen, ghosts, and other creepy (but otherwise impossible) scenarios.

And now for the part in which I side-step out of tagging others, in part because I can't think of anyone who hasn't already received this award and also because I hate to exclude anyone and also because, well ... see #1.





This award comes from Miss Remmers over at Miss Remmers' Review. The rules for this one are pretty simple:

1. Put this on your blog, whether as an entirely new post or on your sidebar.
2. Choose other newly discovered bloggers that you love, and award them!
3. Send them a message/comment to let them know.

I'm going to give this award to the lovelies who have been so kind to me. If you haven't checked out their sites, get on it!

Miss Remmers at Miss Remmers' Review
Cheryl at Wandering (and wondering) through YA Lit
Sarah at Loving Books
Bookquoter at a Thousand Books with Quotes





And finally, Bookquoter at a Thousand Books with Quotes has given me the Prêmio Dardos award, an award to "to acknowledge the importance of bloggers committed with spreading cultural, ethical, literary and personal values, showing their thoughts are alive through their letters and words."

With that in mind, I pass this award on to

Marie at The Boston Bibliophile
Matt at A Guy's Moleskine Notebook
Florinda at 3 R's
Nymeth at things mean a lot



Congrats to ALL book bloggers!! Happy reading, everyone!

Remember you must die

Memento Mori
Muriel Spark

It's a curious thing to objectively view a novel when you hated nearly EVERY. SINGLE. character. I mean, some seriously AWFUL people inhabit the pages of Spark's Memento Mori that I could barely get past the fourth chapter. Lucky for me, I soldiered on: things much improved (even if their characters didn't), and I found myself -- dare I say it -- even enjoying the novel.

I must say I'm proud of myself for even reading another Spark, since my first encounter with La Spark left something to be desired. But I was intrigued by the premise of the novel: a group of senior citizens begin receiving anonymous phone calls reminding them that they must die.

This is not a group of warm, sweet old people -- far from it. These pensioners are catty, scheming, and forever gossiping. They have secrets, hidden pasts, and a bottomless well of greed, and they are not above blackmail and intimidation to meet their desires. (As I said, the lot of them were vile creatures, which the exception of one (for the most part) sweet little biddy named Charmian. Wait -- Charmian?)

Don't squeeze the Charmian!
(I know, I know: GROAN...don't judge me)

These disturbing calls, however, are not the heart of the novel. Instead, the calls merely bring to light issues that had long been buried. In exploring the twilight of these people's lives, Spark comments not only on their individual foibles but also on what it means to live and grow old in modern times. She confronts aging without becoming sentimental; the result is a deft little novel, and one full of sharp wit.

Needless to say: I was pleasantly surprised.

In a nutshell: An intriguing premise, a slow start, a dash of wickedly sly humor, and a host of awful human beings combine to make a pretty good book.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4.5 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: I'm sure you already know . . . personal copy here.

Do the hop!

My Google Reader is very angry at me right now. Why? It's the Book Blogger Hop, of course!

It's a great way to find fellow book lovers -- although, I warn you: if you're like me, you'll soon find yourself adding WAY too many books to your never-ending TBR list.


New to Bibliolatry?

If you've just arrived via the Hop: welcome! My name is Jenn, I've been hanging out here for over five years (five years!?), and I love to read.

I focus mainly on the classics and on contemporary/literary fiction, although sometimes something creepy (or quasi-creepy) slips in.

Got any recommendations for me? By all means -- let's hear em!

I ain't afraid of no ghosts

Ghost Story
Peter Straub

Ugh. I SO wanted to adore Ghost Story. It's scary, it has ghosts (sorta), and lots of people were quoted on the cover as saying "omg scariest book evvar!!1" or some such, so I thought it was right up my alley. And although it may have been "up my alley," it was a reallllly long alley, and not a particularly nice one, either. Oh, wait you say, the alley is supposed to be me? Whatever, you know what I mean. I mean this book bored the pants off me.

Ok, so: the novel concerns "the Chowder Society," a group of old men who meet together and tell scary stories (and presumably eat chowder, although that part isn't made abundantly clear). So they tell scary stories and THEN scary stuff starts happening to them. And then it's happening not only to them but also to their sleepy little hamlet, which is about to experience the worst winter in history. (Side note: do not read this book in May after a particulary snowy winter, since MORE SNOW is the LAST thing I want to imagine right now).

Also, the narrative jumps around a bit, so at one point it's the future, then it's the present, then it's the past, then it's the WAY past, then it's the present, which is fine, I'm no dummy, but some of it was a bit draggy.

Which leads me to Disappointment #1. Simply put, Ghost Story was a wee bit long for my tastes. This novel could have been pared down significantly without losing any momentum. By the end I was just like WILL THIS SHAPESHIFTER / MANITOU / CREEPY THING KILL EVERYONE ALREADY BECAUSE I'M GETTING VERY SLEEPY OVER HERE.

Which leads me to Disappointment #2. One should probably not be sleepy while reading a scary book. However, I fell asleep NUMEROUS times while reading Ghost Story, which leads me to conclude this scary book IS NOT SCARY. True, there were a few creepy moments, but lots of things are creepy without being scary. To wit:



Question: Would you be afraid of this dog?

Answer: Not if you had a brain in your head: this thing is clearly punt-able, syringe or not. And anyone who is afraid of an evil chihuahua deserves what's coming to him.

Which brings me to Disappointment #3. True, the Big Evil in Ghost Story is not an evil chihuahua, but sometimes it might as well be. Some parts were just plain silly, while other parts didn't make sense within the context of the novel. I'd elaborate, but doing so would involve some spoilers. Also, I don't feel like it. So there.

In a nutshell: Yawn. (But yay! for reading another resolution title! [Remember that?])

Bibliolatry Scale: 2 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Personal copy (insert sad music here)

RR10: April

Another month down! Let's check my progress in my reading resolution.


BOOKS READ: APRIL 2010

Dumas, Alexandre. Black Tulip
Eagleman, David. Sum
Martel, Yann. Beatrice and Virgil
Ness, Patrick. The Knife of Never Letting Go
Russell, Mary Doria. The Sparrow
Simmons, Dan. Black Hills
Zola, Emile. Therese Raquin


RESOLUTION TITLES = 0 (still 8/80)

NON-RESOLUTION TITLES = 7

TOTAL READ IN MARCH 2010 = 7

TOTAL READ IN 2010 = 24

Delightful, intelligent, insightful, etc. etc. etc.

Sum: Forty Tales from the Afterlives
David Eagleman

It's always a pleasure to find that glowing blurbs get it right. Too often in my experience, a surfeit of praise indicates a turd. Not this time. Sum lives up to its praise -- and then some.

Sum is a collection of forty short (some only a page) tales that investigate "entirely new frameworks" (to quote the author in an interview) of the afterlife. You won't find people just hanging out on clouds: instead, you might relive all your experiences of the same type at once (that means sitting on the toilet for five months); you might find yourself with a disappointed God; you might even find yourself with the aliens who created humanity as an experiment. Would you like it if heaven were populated by only those people you knew in life? Perhaps -- perhaps not.

Eagleman's prose is so simple, yet so lovely, he makes it seem like anyone can write like he does. The stories are short, powerful, and intelligent, and I would bet it's nearly impossible to find a reader who didn't like this book.

If you'd like a sample, three excerpts are available online. Click here to read "Expectations," just one of the forty scenarios in which you just might find yourself.

In a nutshell: Why didn't I think of this? Oh, because I'm not that smart. Or that intelligent. Damn you, Eagleman.

Bibliolatry Scale: 6 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: alll miiiiine

Promising but painful

Black Hills
Dan Simmons

I did it!! I DID IT!! DO YOU HEAR ME EVERYBODY??!?!?

Yes, it's true. It may have taken me months, but I have finally finished Black Hills. I finished last night during a marathon skim-fest that allowed me to cover nearly 150 pages.

First, let me be clear: I LOVE Dan Simmons. Sure, we've had our ups and downs, but I think our relationship is on fairly solid ground.

That's why I was so disappointed to slog through Black Hills. The premise sounded promising: young Paha Sapa, a ten-year-old Sioux, is present at Little Big Horn and touches General Custer as he's dying. The ghost of Custer takes up residence within him and haunts him for the rest of his life. Years later, Paha Sapa finds himself at the construction of Mount Rushmore, and he feels it's his duty to bring the stone giants down.

See, you'd think that would be interesting, right? A ghost, living in you? Haunting you from within?

Well, don't be fooled.

Right: That's me (aren't I skinny?) while reading this book.

Ironically, during one point in the novel, Paha Sapa tries to read Henry James' Ambassadors, but "He simply can not get through it ... The story itself seems so insignificant, so overblown, so petty and obscure..." REALLY?!?!? Am I the only one who finds this totally ironic?!?

That's not to say Black Hills is an insignificant story -- but overblown? Impossible to get through? ABSOLUTELY.

In a nutshell: A great book that needs a fearless editor. As it stands, a bit painful. I still got love for Simmons, though.

Bibliolatry Scale: 2 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: I received a review copy from the publisher. Thanks, even though I wasn't so much a fan of this one.

The Classics Circuit: Alexandre Dumas

The Black Tulip
Alexandre Dumas

I must admit, I was a little daunted by Dumas. I chose The Black Tulip solely based on its length (it's the shortest of his novels), and when I read the book was about growing flowers, I didn't get my hopes up.

The novel begins as two prominent Dutchmen are unjustly executed, the victims of political intrigue. Their deaths, graphic and unsettling, are the first indication of the rollercoaster that is The Black Tulip.

We move from this violent scene to the quiet suburbs, to Cornelius Van Baerle, a rich man who loves nothing but tulips. Van Baerle is seeking to create the elusive "Black Tulip," which many believe is impossible.

Unfortunately for Corn, his neighbor Boxtel hates him. HATES. There's teeth gnashing and all. Boxtel is also in love with tulips, so of course he is envious of Corn's success with the ladies tulips.

Jeez. TWO men in love with tulips?

my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

So Boxtel sets out to destroy Corn, and then MORE political intrigue happens and then before you know it Corn's in love with NOT ONLY tulips but now also Rosa, the daughter of his jailer. Escándalo!

Oh, and did I mention that the person to first create the Black Tulip will receive a Very Large Sum as a prize? The race to grow the tulip is on! Now throw in a few dazzling fight scenes and some hysterical dialogue, and you've got The Black Tulip.

This short novel was such fun to read. As I got wrapped up in the story, I even began to read a few chapters online while I was at work. The pacing is fast, and I often couldn't wait to read more. Many thanks to the Classics Circuit for the Dumas tour -- I'm not sure I ever would have read this without the tour, and that would have been a shame indeed!

In a nutshell: Fun, funny, and fantastical - a pleasant surprise!

Bibliolatry Scale: 5 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Personal copy; also online

Required Reading: The Sparrow

The Sparrow
Mary Doria Russell

Oh, The Sparrow. Where do I even begin?

I finished this book weeks ago, and yet I have not been able to put metaphorical pen to paper, until now. The interim has been filled with ceaseless pondering, The Sparrow continuing to occupy my mind even as I read several other novels.

Even now, scenes and characters from the novel still wander the halls of my mind, poking in at inopportune moments. When you consider that this is MDR's first novel, my envy is complete. Damn you, woman.

Before beginning with the obligatory summary, I must first state, as others have before me, that, although The Sparrow is classified as science-fiction, you should ignore this label if sci-fi ain't your bag. Although it may feature elements of sci-fi, this is literary fiction all the way.

Okay, on with the obligatory: The Sparrow follows two different timelines; we begin in 2059, when Emilio Sandoz, the lone survivor of an expedition to a faraway planet called Rakhat, returns to earth. Immediately an inquest is opened to discover the fates of the other explorers, but Sandoz is far too traumatized to offer up his secrets.

Before we can get too far, however, we are returned to 2019, as humanity first discovers life exists on Rakhat. While scanning the skies for extraterrestrial radio transmissions, beautiful, hymn-like singing can be heard. Because such music is nearly identical to our own songs of worship, many wonder if Rakhat can offer proof for the existence of God.

Quicker than you can shake a finger (or maybe not, if you happen to be Sandoz), eight intrepid explorers are off to meet the inhabitants of Rakhat. What they encounter is beyond all imagination and prompts them to question the meaning of faith, existence, and humanity. As an agnostic (something I dislike about myself, thanks to Yann Martel), I found this book very powerful; believers and non-believers alike cannot help but be affected by this novel.

In a nutshell: This crap review falls quite short of the power that is The Sparrow; simply put, you MUST read this book.

Oh, and Brad Pitt is set to play Emilio Sandoz? BLASPHEMY!

Oh, and, and -- many thanks to Heather for bringing this book to my attention!

Bibliolatry Scale: 6 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Personal copy, woot woot

Ambivalating all over the place

Beatrice and Virgil
Yann Martel

Well, it's been roughly two weeks since I finished Beatrice and Virgil, Yann Martel's newest novel, and to say I'm perplexed is an understatement. Did I like the book? Hate it? Ambivalate it? Hopefully writing this review will help me solve the mystery.

To begin, a brief overview: Beatrice and Virgil is Martel's way of discussing the Holocaust without *actually* discussing the Holocaust. He argues that of all the great atrocities of the world, only the Holocaust has avoided greater attention in fiction, and once those who have lived through it pass away, we are in danger of forgetting -- unless we tell stories about it. To this end, he has written Beatrice and Virgil, a "story" about the Holocaust that uses animals to represent those who suffered.

Okay, so animals as allegorical figures? Check. Conversational, intimate style? Check. Shocking, gut-wrenching ending? Check. Sounds a lot like Life of Pi, eh? Then why am I so ambivalent?

To start, one must know that Beatrice and Virgil is no Life of Pi. Pi remains one of my favorite novels and has for me a mystical quality that Beatrice and Virgil simply lacks. So, perhaps BAV suffers simply for not being Pi. In that case, Martel was doomed before I even picked up the damn thing, which isn't exactly fair.

But even apart from the obligatory Pi comparisons, Beatrice and Virgil has its problems. In my opinion, using animals as an allegory for the Holocaust was somewhat weak, the Beckettian absurdism unnecessary; worse, some parts were underdeveloped, and some parts OVERdeveloped.

That's not to say I didn't like Beatrice and Virgil: it was a short read, as I read it in a few hours and was relatively moved by the experience. The novel made me think, and I enjoyed Martel's narrative voice even if this work was flawed.

Ultimately, even if some elements were a bit weak, Martel achieves what he sets out to do: he reminds us of the atrocities of the Holocaust (even if the reminder only underscores the fact that the animals' suffering in no way compares to that of those who suffered under the Nazis), and he uses fiction as a means of telling the truth.

In a nutshell: I still don't know. It was...okay-ish?

Bibliolatry Scale: 3.5 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: I was lucky to receive a review copy from the publisher, and, even though I didn't LOVE it...Thanks!

Not even Stains could save this one

The Knife of Never Letting Go
Patrick Ness

As part of my on-going effort to avoid another reading funk, I've surrounded myself with "quick reads" to keep me moving. Based on the many reviews I've read of The Knife of Never Letting Go, I figured this combination of dystopia, thriller, and bildungsroman was guaranteed to excite.

The narrator of The Knife of Never Letting Go, Todd Hewitt, lives in Prentisstown, where the thoughts of men and animals are heard by everyone. This Noise, as it's called, makes life nearly unbearable, as true privacy and peace are impossible to find. The novel opens as Todd and his dog, Manchee, find something they've never found before: silence. Soon, Todd's running for his life and yadda yadda yadda. So, did The Knife of Never Letting Go live up to the hype?

Unfortunately, no.

Todd annoyed me. Even Manchee, the talking dog, annoyed me -- and I love dogs. However, I soon replaced my original image of Manchee with Stains, the internet's beloved hypnodog, and my love for Manchee soared.

"Poo! Poo!" says Manchee ... over and over (and over)

Alas, that which annoyed me nearly outweighed that which didn't. Todd's voice was uneven and clunky, the plotting was fast-paced but silly in places, and, while I am intrigued by a world where thoughts are public, the overall execution was a bit weak for me.

Or maybe TKoNLG suffered from poor timing. I've just read several EXCELLENT books, one of which I'm still unable to post about, it was that good (and no, it is NOT The Savage Detectives, thank you for asking), so it was inevitable I'd find fault with TKoNLG. That said, TKoNLG was a fast, light read perfect for breaking a funk.

In a nutshell: Flawed but fast-paced, The Knife of Never Letting Go is relentless and and entertaining, to a point.

Bibliolatry Scale: 2 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Personal copy (shut up)

The Classics Circuit: Emile Zola

Therese Raquin
Emile Zola

Today I'm pleased to welcome Emile Zola as part of the the Classics Circuit!

For my stop on the Classics tour, I've read Therese Raquin, which has been on my TBR list for years. The tour finally gave me the kick in the pants I needed in order to get this thing done.

And now that I've read it, I can't help but wonder...what took me so long? Because, hands down, Therese Raquin was an INSANE read. INSANE! I was shocked by how graphic and disturbing this short novel was, and I can only imagine how Zola's readers reacted when it was first published almost 150 years ago.

In Therese Raquin, Zola is more concerned with temperament than character. So he combines three different "humors" and allows them to go crazy. There's phlegmatic Camille (who is NOT a girl, despite what my brain kept telling me), who is married to Therese, who is choleric and therefore full of energy. As you might think, Camille + Therese = unhappy marriage. And the two, together with Madame Raquin, Camille's maman, pass day after day after day doing THE SAME FRIGGIN THING over and over and over. LE SIGH.

Why, yes, there IS a cat in Therese Raquin, but sadly he is lacking bacon

Therese is resigned to her life of eternal return with only other "living corpses" to keep her company as her life unwinds.

BUT THEN! Entre Laurent. He's a beast! He's a man! He's pure sex on wheels! (Oh, and he's also sanguine, so he's creative and extroverted and if you really want to know more about humors then just go here). So Therese starts making googly eyes at Laurent and then before you know it THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON THE BEDROOM FLOOR.

Add lots of animal imagery, some plotting, more sex and what the back of my edition describes as "a crime that will haunt them forever" and you have the book in a nutshell.

Again, I was stunned by the graphic nature of Therese Raquin, and I was pleasantly surprised by the fast-paced nature of the plot. While I hated every single one of the characters (with the exception of Madame Raquin, the feisty little minx), I was still able to enjoy the novel -- surely a testament to Monsieur Zola. So thanks again to the the Classics Circuit for giving me reason to get my rear in gear.

In a nutshell: The melodrama! The gruesomeness! The cat! (Vraiment, Laurent?) Therese Raquin is fast enough to be read in a day, yet powerful enough to last a lifetime. (Possibly. It's only been a few days.)

Bibliolatry Scale: 4.5 out of 6 stars

FTCBS: Personal copy over here.

The Savage Readalong: Week 4

Ok. I've finally finished Week 4 of the Savage readalong, and I must admit: I skimmed the shit outta this mothereffer.

Sigh.

Again, I must say, were it not for this readalong, I'd have given up long ago. As it is, I'm a week behind. I just couldn't do it last week. I guess I knew what was in store for me.

What was in store for me was an interminable stretch of random accounts of people who barely even knew these two fools. One account lasts 16 pages, yet hardly mentions Lima or Belano. So, yes, I skimmed.

For now, I'm just struggling to get through this behemoth. I'll try to make sense of it later; maybe I can understand what Bolano is driving at after I've finished.

Hopefully.

How about you, fellow Savages? Are you experiencing similar difficulties? Are you also forcing yourself to plow through, regardless of the fact you're deriving little to no pleasure from the experience? Or is it just me?

RR10: March

Yet another month gone by; let's see how my reading resolution is coming along.

Don't expect much, though: I spent much of March in a reading funk and falling behind on my Savage Readalong (expect a post on Week 4 soon).


BOOKS READ: MARCH 2010

Anderson, Laurie Halse. Speak
DuMaurier, Daphne. Don't Look Now: Selected Stories
Gregory, Daryl. The Devil's Alphabet
Heyer, Georgette. Footsteps in the Dark


RESOLUTION TITLES = 0 (still 8/80)

NON-RESOLUTION TITLES = 4

TOTAL READ IN MARCH 2010 = 4

TOTAL READ IN 2010 = 17