The Beast gets funny...and a little annoying, too

Who Stole the Funny?: A Novel of Hollywood
Robby Benson

Hey there, folks, my second review has been published over at Pajiba, this time on Robby Benson's Who Stole the Funny?

If Benson's name rings a bell, you might be a loser like me and remember him as the voice of the Beast from the Disney "masterpiece." (I mentally quibbled about the quotes there; I hesitate to call any Disney film a masterpiece, but I do love that movie. Sigh. I need to watch it again.) Or you might remember him from a bunch of other stuff he did; his IMDB profile is quite lengthy.

At any rate, you may click here to read my review in full; of course, be sure to check out all the other great reviews on the site. As before, I'll provide my "In a nutshell" commentary and rating system.

In a nutshell: Light and fluffy, Who Stole the Funny? highlights all that Hollywood seems to offer...and makes you glad that you aren't there too.

Bibliolatry Scale: 3.5 out of 6 stars

The only relationship advice you'll ever need

Men Like Bars, Women Don't Have a Penis
Iron Balz

Upon first learning the concept behind Men Like Bars, Women Don't Have a Penis, I was immediately curious to see exactly what kind of information "Iron Balz" would relay to their readers. I too feel that self-help books (such as Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, The Rules, and He's Just Not that Into You, all of which are spoofed by the writers) make money by telling the lonely masses obvious shit about relationships. And yet, people still read this garbage! Do you really need a book to tell you when a man isn't interested in you???

Iron Balz (visit their website here) seem to feel the same way, hence Men Like Bars, Women Don't Have a Penis. In fact, I was hooked upon reading the opening of this short, humorous take on relationship advice, as Iron Balz (the pen name of Matt and John, two brothers) immediately proclaim:

If I was going to write a book for women about how to know when a guy is not into them, it would be one page, with one sentence that reads:

He does not try to fuck you.

Hear, hear. From that gleaming insight grew Men Like Bars, Women Don't Have a Penis. I expected it to be full of more of the same self-evident truths like the above, but I was surprised to actually find some helpful information within its pages. For example, I soon learned the difference between "strange versus romance," and while I probably won't implement any of their advice (much to my husband's chagrin, I'm sure, but I won't let him read Men Like Bars for this very reason), I had a great time reading it.

One of my favorite gems is this diet advice:

Here is the only piece of dieting advice you need: 1) Wake up earlier than usually [sic] and exercise for 20 minutes. 2) Do push-ups, sit-ups, run, power walk, anything other than shoveling bacon in your face. 3) Do not eat anything containing a lot of fats and sugars, and eat slightly less than you do currently.

If you cannot do this then you are not disciplined enough to lose weight, and need to accept the fact that you are always going to be fat. There is no need to waste money on bullshit dieting products. It is nothing to be ashamed of. There are many drunken rugby players that will be willing to have sex with you.

Politically correct? Absolutely not, but quite hilarious nonetheless.

As the authors state at the beginning, this self-published book did not go through a legitimate editing process, so some grammatical and spelling errors have slipped through the cracks. It is a shame that this is so, since it is this aspect of the book that prevents it from being a greater success. If Iron Balz were to clean up some of the mechanics of Men Like Bars, Women Don't Have a Penis, they'd have a sure-fire hit on their hands. (Hence the rating below; I'd have rated it more highly were it not for the grammatical and spelling errors, which wounded the cold little heart of this poor, beleaguered English teacher.)

In a nutshell: You may not need their advice, but you'll definitely get a laugh out of Men Like Bars. Be warned, though, that this book is not politically correct: it's raunchy, it's (at times) sexist -- and it's pretty damned funny.

Bibliolatry Scale: 3 out of 6 stars

Squee!

Samedi the Deafness
Jesse Ball

My first review has been published over at Pajiba, one of my favorite sites ever (hence my squee of joy).

The review in question is for Jesse Ball's Samedi the Deafness, so head on over there to read it. Be sure to check out not only my review, but also the dozens of others that appear on the site.

As for Samedi, I'll simply post my "nutshell review" and rating scale here, since Pajiba is a little above such juvenalia. I also refrained from making any ball jokes, but it was really difficult.

In a nutshell: Samedi is quirky but ultimately unfulfilling; Ball should have given us more -- or less. (See!? More ball? Not snickering at the obvious ball joke is so hard!)

(Gah! See!? Ball? Hard?)

Sorry.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars

Parents, a word of advice: Don't die and leave your kids to crazy Aunt Ruth

The Girl Next Door
Jack Ketchum

I am not a person easily disturbed. Halloween is my favorite time of year, and I love nothing more than watching a scary movie simply to scare the living hell out of myself. I pride myself on being able to handle the goriest of scenes with a snicker – unless, of course, the gore involves an eyeball. Even I have my line in the sand.

So when I heard Jack Ketchum’s The Girl Next Door was “really really disturbing,” I was interested, but certainly not daunted. I mean, gimme a break. Dude’s practically got ketchup for a last name. How twisted could he be?

Apparently, very.

The Girl Next Door is the story of two young girls who, having recently been orphaned, have come to live with their Aunt Ruth and her three sons. Although at first glance they appear as normal as any other family in this small town (not that that’s saying much), there is plenty of foreshadowing to indicate otherwise. These boys are just plain weird.

At first, Meg and her sister manage well enough, but it’s clear from the start they don’t fit in well with Ruth and her brood. Over time, however, their relationship disintegrates, devolving from a patronizing tolerance to out-right abuse, all of which is witnessed by David, their next-door neighbor and our narrator.

David, retelling this story as an adult, has never fully recovered from the events of the novel, and he explains at the novel's onset that he will finally bring their sins to light. And what sins they are. What Ruth and her family do to those two young girls is truly stomach-churning; worse still is the fact that Ketchum based his tale on a true story, the murder of Sylvia Likens.

Like Stephen King (who appears to be a fan of our featured author), Ketchum’s strength lies in his ability to tell a good tale; also like King, Ketchum’s prose is simple and not without its flaws. Furthermore, Ketchum is none too subtle at planting information that will become all-too-relevant as the story develops. It’s almost as though he’s marked each important area with a nice red flag, as if to say, “This is gonna be really important, kids; just you wait until you see how these twisted fucks apply this little scenario to their cousin.” It's a forgivable sin, though, since we’re prepared for the worst from the first chapter; still, it would be better if the groundwork had been a little better hidden so that it wasn’t so easy to see where it was all leading.

Flaws aside, The Girl Next Door is a fascinating, disturbing story that almost made me physically ill. Almost. I’m no goddamn poontang.

there are no words

Finally, I learned while writing this review that the film will be out soon. You may visit the website here, if you're interested.

In a nutshell: Squeamish readers and mothers beware; this one might be too much for you.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4.5 out of 6 stars

Well I'll be damned -- it really IS that good

The Kite Runner
Khaled Hosseini

For quite awhile now, the name Khaled Hosseini has been on the lips of readers everywhere; even non-readers have fallen prey to the siren that is The Kite Runner. I thought I had escaped unscathed, but now that his second novel, A Thousand Splendid Suns, has been released (again to much acclaim), it seems Hosseini is a force that cannot be ignored. Tired of being one of the few remaining people who hasn’t read The Kite Runner, I decided to rectify the problem, duly dubious that something so celebrated could be any good.

With such doubt firmly entrenched in my mind, I began this book fully expecting to hate it. In fact, I wanted to hate it, wanting instead to separate myself from the masses clamoring Khaled Hosseini’s greatness to anyone and everyone who would listen. I thought, I am better than the mewling hoards. I am educated. I read "quality literature." I am not a sheep. I will not like The Kite Runner.

baa, baa

I could immediately see why The Kite Runner has attracted both readers and non-readers alike; Hosseini spins a complex, intelligent tale while keeping his prose simple and readable, and I was able to read half the book in a single sitting without becoming bored and resorting to procrastinating on the Internet. Furthermore, his story involves several elements that resonate well on a subconscious level: archetypal figures, a comforting parallelism that nicely rounds out the second half of the novel, and even a little hero quest worthy of Campbell. It's difficult not to like something that combines intelligence and simplicity, modernity and tradition.

For those who don’t yet know the story, The Kite Runner is the story of Amir, who, as a boy growing up in Afghanistan, commits a shameful deed out of a desperate need to gain his father's love and attention. What follows is, of sorts, a tale of heroic redemption: after war breaks out, father and son leave their country and eventually arrive in America, where Amir grows as an individual and improves his relationship with his father. And yet, despite America's bringing father and son closer together, Amir still has not reconciled himself with his past; it is only upon returning to Afghanistan that he can possibly redeem both himself and those he loves.

To this tale of the modern hero, a hero flawed and craven, a character who almost doesn't even want to be redeemed, is added the most important character of them all: Afghanistan. I don’t enjoy books that rely on great amounts of description, but I never felt The Kite Runner’s description to be overbearing. And yet, after reading the book, I feel as though there must have been a lot of it, for Hosseini's Afghanistan remains clearly etched in my mind. Like most Americans, I only know of the Middle East what I see on tv, a pastiche of desolate streets, decimated buildings, and bedraggled children, but Hosseini shows us an Afghanistan beautiful and full of promise before it was destroyed by fighting.

To be fair, The Kite Runner isn't entirely perfect. There is a tendency toward the sentence fragment which seemed a little overused after awhile. Then again, perhaps I am being pedantic. It's been known to happen. Also, a few scenes were slightly predictable, but I do point out foreshadowing for a living. These things pale in comparison to the power of the work as a whole, and I really can't quibble over such minor flaws.

In a nutshell: If you haven't read it yet, allow me to echo the multitude of people who have already said to me, "You haven't read The Kite Runner yet?? Ohmygod, you SO have to read it! It is SO AMAZING. I like totally cried."

I, for one, did NOT cry. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Bibliolatry Scale: 5 out of 6 stars

Not the best by one of the best

Life Before Man>
Margaret Atwood

I’ve commented before that Margaret Atwood can do no wrong in my book. I haven’t read all of what she’s written, but even her mediocre stuff is better than most other writer’s best. She’s one of the few writers whose work I will read without questioning, without reading reviews, or even without perusing the back jacket. If it’s Atwood, it’s in.

So before purchasing Life Before Man, I had only to check that I hadn’t already read it. Nope: this one was new to me, even though it was published 1979. The novel centers on three characters: Elizabeth and her husband Nate, and Nate’s lover Lesje (pronounced Le - sha). Elizabeth and Nate seem to have an open marriage, each both frequently taking lovers but staying together for the children.

As the novel opens, Elizabeth’s latest lover, Chris, has committed suicide, sending Elizabeth into a deep depression, recalling memories of her mother and sister who both suffered from mental illness. Elizabeth, however, is not so weak as to give in to despair, and her controlling nature compels her to manipulate both her husband and his lovers even though she can barely control her own life.

Life Before Man, then, follows these three characters around for a period of a few years: Elizabeth tries to make sense of her life following her lover’s suicide; Nate tries to pry himself from Elizabeth’s domination; and Lesje just wants to be loved.

My biggest problem with the book is that every character was unsympathetic. Elizabeth is a manipulative busybody who would do well to get a divorce and move on with her life. Nate is a spineless douche who seems like the biggest loser alive; why are so many women interested in him? He doesn’t even have a job. Ugh. And Lesje is so weak and flimsy, ugh on her too. She allows Nate to walk all over her and is at the mercy of Elizabeth’s machinations. When she finally takes a decisive action on her own, she does it in a sneaky way that leaves little to be admired.

That said, Atwood’s writing is always admirable and her insights noteworthy, even if Life Before Man is not the best example of Atwood’s keen mind. However, it does bear repeating that Atwood on a bad day is better than many writers at their best.

In a nutshell: A must for Atwood fans; those needing an introduction to this grand writer had better look elsewhere first, though.

Bibliolatry Scale: 2 out of 6 stars

Possibly outrageous but definitely boring

The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead
Max Brooks

I like books, right? And everyone knows how I just luurve zombies. So if you add the two together, I’ll like the result, right?

Right?

Quite simply, I didn’t “get” this book. It’s labeled as humor; Publishers Weekly calls it an “outrageous parody of a survival guide.” Well it is a parody, but outrageous? I suppose I could see that one, if I had to, but this book isn’t funny, unless you count the existence of zombies as a joke, which I most assuredly do NOT.

If you do count the existence of zombies as a joke, then I suppose this book is funny. Otherwise, you’re out of luck, since you won’t find any other joke within these pages. This book has also been described as “exhaustively comprehensive,” and it is. If there were to be a zombie attack, you’ll need this guide. But therein lies the problem: you'll never need it. Why does a "joke guide" for a totally impossible situation take itself so seriously? Where's the fun? The joke?

Seriously, there are no jokes. Instead, there are almost 200 pages dedicated to manifold scenarios; weapons are outlined and the pros and cons of each are discussed. In detail. So are possible escape methods (a dirt bike is surprisingly preferable to the car). But again, these things are described in detail. Serious detail. Serious as in not funny. As in this shit might actually happen. A bigger problem is that Brooks manages to make what should be an exciting topic dull and boring. That’s a pretty big deal.

I could go on, but I’m getting bored just writing this review. Yikes.

In a nutshell: meh

Bibliolatry Scale: 1 out of 6 stars

Summer Review

My summer is officially over. With that, here's a review of everything I read during June, July, and August. I set a few challenges for myself. I failed a few challenges for myself. Oh well. I read a lot. That's all that matters.

With that, I give you my summer in review (please note that the two starred entries refer to books I was, for whatever reason, unable to complete):


BOOKS READ IN JUNE
1. unSpun
2. Jude the Obscure
3. State of Fear
4. The Butterfly Revolution
5. Blood Meridian
6. Cosmicomics
7. On the Road*
8. New British Poetry
9. The Book of Nightmares
10. Grendel
11. The Ghost Writer
12. The Fortress of Solitude
13. The Collector


BOOKS READ IN JULY
1. Here, Bullet
2. Eeeee Eee Eeee
3. Northanger Abbey
4. Everything's Eventual
5. Year of Wonders
6. Light of Day
7. The Man in the High Castle
8. The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch
9. Philosophy in the Boudoir*
10. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
11. Ubik
12. Hell Hath No Fury


BOOKS READ IN AUGUST
1. Klepto
2. Sharp Objects
3. Come Closer
4. We Need to Talk About Kevin
5. Bag of Bones
6. More Than Human
7. The Voice at 3:00 A.M.


Only seven books in August??? Seven??? That's bullshit!! Damn. I shoulda done better. So, in sum: I attempted to read 32 books this summer, and I completed 30. I guess that's okay. As for my challenges, there were three:


1. THE UNLOVED CHALLENGE.

The purpose of this challenge was to read all those purchased but unread books that remain on my bookshelves. This is a challenge I set for myself at some point once a year. I always fail.

STATUS OF CHALLENGE: FAILURE, as always. While I did knock a few down, I didn't read enough unloved books. Not to mention the fact that I was repeatedly unable to resist the siren call of Amazon.com, causing more books to arrive at my door.


2. THE POETRY CHALLENGE

The purpose of this challenge was to read all the poetry I could handle this summer.

STATUS OF CHALLENGE: MEDIOCRE. I read four books of poetry: New British Poetry, The Book of Nightmares, Here, Bullet, and The Voice at 3:00 A.M.. More were purchased but not yet encountered. I could have done better with this one, but since it represents my most successful challenge of the summer, I suppose I should be happy.


3. THE GOTHIC CHALLENGE

The purpose of this challenge was to read more classics of the Gothic genre.

STATUS OF CHALLENGE: FAILURE. With the exception of Northanger Abbey, I completed zero additional Gothic classics this summer, even though I purchased nearly them all. Wow I'm good.

Okay, so the challenges didn't really work for me this summer. Better luck next year!

My life, my portion of eternity

The Voice at 3:00 A.M.: Selected Late and New Poems
Charles Simic

After hearing Charles Simic named as Poet Laureate, I just had knew I needed to get my hands on his poetry. The small taste I had earlier gleaned did not whet my appetite. I searched online: I hemmed, I hawed, I debated which volume to purchase.

At long last, I settled upon The Voice at 3:00 A.M., a collection of late and new poems ranging from 1986 to the present day. As usual, I sat down to read this collection with my usual stack of post-its, a must whenever reading a book of poetry so that I may flag every poem I like. I am pleased to report that I nearly used them all when reading this collection of Simic’s work. While not every poem resounded with me, I can honestly say his work quite often took my breath away.

For my part, I like poems that appear simple (and are easy to read) yet yield multiple interpretations after some reflection. Most of Simic’s poems meet my criteria, and there are only a few poems that were so long I lost interest in them. Most were about a page in length, and nearly all made me stop and think. Choosing a favorite poem from this collection is damn near impossible, although I seem to have enjoyed the earlier poems in this collection better than the ones from the present.

I could speak more about this volume, but I think I had best allow his poetry to speak for him.

Consider the shortest poem in the collection, entitled “Evening Chess” (1992):

EVENING CHESS

The Black Queen raised high
In my father’s angry hand.


That's it! I just think it's brilliant, and I can't put my finger on why. This next one, from the present day, astounded me with its simple beauty, and I enjoy it more and more with every read:

NEAREST NAMELESS

So damn familiar,
Most of the time,
I don’t even know you are here.
My life,
My portion of eternity,

A little shiver,
As if the chill of the grave
Is already
Catching up with me—
No matter.

Descartes smelled
Witches burning
While he sat thinking
Of a truth so obvious
We keep failing to see it.

I never knew it either
Till today.
When I heard a bird shriek:
The cat is coming,
And I felt myself tremble.


I love that, "my life, my portion of eternity." I'm a little confuzzled as to Decartes' truth, though; is it no more than "I think, therefore I am"? Is that the truth we keep failing to see, that we are? I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.

In a nutshell: A necessity for poetry lovers, Simic’s work will not disappoint.

Bibliolatry Scale: 5 out of 6 stars

Get ready: the gestalt is coming!

More Than Human
Theodore Sturgeon

Have you ever heard of science-fiction master Theodore Sturgeon? One of the leading figures of science-fiction’s Golden Age? What, you haven’t? For shame!

Actually, it’s not much of a surprise if you haven’t heard of Sturgeon. Despite being acclaimed as a science-fiction master, Sturgeon receives little to no attention in America—despite the fact that he was an American writer. (I had assumed he was British until reading his biography on wikipedia. Incidentally, he was a distant relative of Ralph Waldo Emerson, which really isn’t all that interesting I guess.

At any rate, I might have remained ignorant of Sturgeon’s presence in the literary world were it not for Edwin Hesselthwite over at Little Man, What Now?. When he recommended I read some of Sturgeon's work, I was immediately intrigued and I felt instinctively Sturgeon was worth a try. I hunted down a copy of More Than Human and sat back to see what this Sturgeon was all about.

Upon reading the opening of the novel, I was immediately taken with Sturgeon’s style. Unlike many other writers of science-fiction, Sturgeon’s prose is not stark and to the point, like, say, Philip K. Dick. Instead, Sturgeon veers into a poetic prose that competes with his original ideas, and it is difficult to say which of these two characteristics is more important when determining his importance as a science-fiction writer.

And while his prose is definitely beautiful (and rare, for the genre), it was his original ideas set forth in More Than Human that wowed me more. The novel’s focus is the next step in human evolution, and Sturgeon conceives a wildly new human than I’ve ever seen before. Sturgeon’s new human will be Homo Gestalt, a single being composed of individuals who are incomplete alone. As one of the characters remarks, “the I is all of us.”

The novel is composed of three sections; in the first, the group finds one another after being drawn together. The group is made of Lone, a man others believe is an idiot and little better than an animal; Janie, a young girl capable of telekinesis; Bonnie and Beanie, twins who can teleport but who do not speak; and Baby, a severely retarded infant whose mind is like a computer. Alone, these individuals can barely function in society, but together they make a single unit can both survive and finally belong.

The second section picks up several years later; Lone has died and a new Gestalt leader must be found. This time, Gerry is called to the group, only Gerry has been abused and is filled with anger and hate. The group must cope with his emotional handicap just as they dealt with Lone’s. The third section follows the addition of the group’s final member, Hip, who adds morality and completes the group. Of course, this is the most superficial of summaries and does not come close to touching on the myriad capabilities of humanity's new human. You'll just have to read More Than Human to find out exactly what Homo Gestalt is capable of doing.

More Than Human left me wondering: Is Sturgeon’s importance due to the poetic beauty he brought to science-fiction? Or because he conceived of new directions for humanity, directions never before seen in science-fiction? Hardly an expert on the genre, I’m in no position to say. I can, however, state the obvious, that Sturgeon is unduly ignored in this country. Don’t feel bad for Sturgeon, though; dead since 1985, he isn’t much affected by the American public’s ignorance of his work. Instead, it’s readers who may never enjoy this master who are missing out the most. If you’re a fan of science fiction, you owe it to yourself to read him.

In a nutshell: More Than Human is unlike any science fiction you’ve read before. It’s weird, it’s poetic, it’s unforgettable.

Bibliolatry Scale: 5 out of 6 stars

Some stuff you might want to read

I hate to do another link post again so soon, but I've come across some really interesting things that you might like.

Did I say that Americans weren't reading? Apparently that's a lie.

YES.

This can't be good.

Now this is some pretty dumb shit right here.

One of my favorite sites, Pajiba presents the ten science-fiction films you should see (but probably haven't). Not surprisingly, I haven't seen a single one. I really gotta get Netflix.

Finally, you can view the trailer for Cormac McCarthy's No Country for Old Men. I haven't read it yet, but I better do so before the film comes out. Anyone read this one? I'd like to hear your thoughts.

Barbarella look like she's my dead ringer

I thought a fun listening post would be apropos for a Friday, which happens to be my last day of summer. It is with deepest regret that I announce my return to work on Monday. BOO. (Actually, not really; like all nerds, I'm looking forward to returning to school.)

Anyway, I know I rarely post about music; books are my thing really, but M.I.A.'s (real name: Maya Arulpragasam) new cd Kala is just amazing. I don't care if this is hardly an original opinion: it's undeniably good. Even more wonderful is the fact that you don't even have to buy it; NME is streaming it in its entirety and all you have to do is register (it's free).

At any rate, here are my two favorites, "Jimmy" and "Bamboo Banga." I haven't been able to get either song out of my head for two weeks. If you're interested in learning more about her, you can visit M.I.A.'s myspace page, her wikipedia entry, or her website. And in compiling these links, I myself learned something new: M.I.A. is older than I am. That just makes me love her more. I didn't think it possible.

M.I.A., I ♥ you girl.

Some links for your Thursday

The Telegraph ponders whether this might just mean the end of English literature. Let's hope not.

As I'm sure you've heard by now, ABC News is reporting that one in four Americans read no books last year. "I just get sleepy when I read," says someone I’d wager has no problem sitting through Scary Movies 1-4.

Yay - FINALLY. Stephen King confirms the Dark Tower movie. Now don’t ef it up.

Poetry.org has posted nine poems you should read, complete with links to the poems and commentary. What, no Wislawa?

Alex Remington at The Huffington Post ponders the problem with pricey paperbacks. But they are just so neat looking, especially those with pages "unevenly cut so that the sides form ridges your thumb can rest upon as you turn the page." That's worth a few extra pennies, in my opinion. Okay so it's a lot of extra pennies.

And finally, I hope you're prepared to see a bound and blindfolded Dorothy being victimized by a nasty pair of munchkins on the big screen. Oh, you're not? Tough. (Disturbing pic included.)

The literary equivalent of a Big Mac and fries*

Bag of Bones
Stephen King

As a self-confessed King fan who doesn’t often read him, I was pleased to hear such good things about Bag of Bones. I’ve read the Dark Tower series, but I usually stick to the movie when it comes to his better-known works. After hearing the glories of Bag of Bones extolled by several persons, I felt compelled to read it. I was immediately taken by the tale; it felt good to return to the master of storytelling, and if nothing else, Bag of Bones reminds readers that the man can tell a damn good story. And for a novel that is nearly eight hundred pages long, Bag of Bones didn’t feel longer than three.

Mike Noonan is our somewhat reluctant hero, and it wouldn’t be too unjust to compare him to King himself. Noonan is a writer too, and a popular one at that -- even if he’s no Tom Clancy. But when his wife suddenly dies, Noonan is faced with something every writer fears: writer’s block. Whenever he tries to write, he is filled with a sudden, blinding panic that leaves no room for creation. Soon, writing becomes nothing more than a long-lost memory.

After a time, it occurs to him that he has long been absent from Sara Laughs, his summer home on the coast of Maine. Thinking this serene locale will at least soothe his spirits (and hopefully inspire him to write), Noonan returns to this summer retreat to make peace with his past.

Enter the Kingishness: Noonan is not alone in his house. Things are going bump in the night, Noonan’s finding strange messages, and something is clearly afoot. He becomes entangled in the lives of a young mother and her daughter, and what begins as a brief act of kindness becomes a cause for which Noonan is prepared do battle. In doing so, Noonan discovers he has been restored to life -- and so has his house. Noonan now has another battle to fight, and both are equally dangerous.

As I mentioned earlier, Bag of Bones is long but never feels tedious. King’s writing style is better than I remembered, although it cannot be denied that his strength lies in the shaping of his story and not the shaping of his sentences. My biggest complaint is with the ending, when some elements veered into a “hokeyness” I could have done without.

There were, however, sufficient surprises that, since I didn’t see them coming, left me feeling pleasantly fulfilled after reading this hefty tome. I’m glad I gave it the time, especially since I've recently learned that the movie rights to Bag of Bones have been optioned with Bruce Willis as producer. Let's see what they do with this one. I'm glad I got to the book first.

In a nutshell: Ghost story, love story, mystery: Bag of Bones has it all. Well worth the read.

Bibliolatry Scale: 4 out of 6 stars


* By the way, the title of this post comes King's own words regarding his work; it's not my opinion. But right about now I'd commit some heinous deeds for a Big Mac and fries. Alas, such temptations are denied to me but for twice a year, when I release my inner grub and chow down on some trans fats and refined carbs. Yummmmmmm.

so good, yet so, so bad

Questions for bookbloggers

I've seen this posted on several bookblogs, so I thought I'd waste some time and do it too. Have fun reading my insightful answers to these questions.

What are you reading right now?
All the books in my sidebar, plus a few more. I'm too lazy to update that sidebar as often as I should. Maybe I ought to just delete that damn thing altogether. It's rarely current.

Do you have any idea what you’ll read when you’re done with that?
Yes, I have a pile of about a dozen books waiting to be read.

What magazines do you have in your bathroom right now?
I don't keep magazines in the bathroom -- it creeps me out. My favorite magazines, though, are Bookmarks, Self, and The Sun.

What’s the worst thing you were ever forced to read?
Probably non-fiction from a boring period, like the Puritans in American Lit or the Restoration/Enlightment period in British Lit. Vico's New Science was pretty damn boring too, as was a bunch of theory I had to read for a graduate course on writing.

Admit it, the librarians at your library know you on a first name basis, don’t they?
No, because I prefer to own my books. In fact, I only use the library located at my work, and the librarians there obviously know my name since we're coworkers. But I'd say the UPS man and my mailwoman know me well. The mailwoman more so, since we chat. Yes, I am actually being sociable. Woot woot.

What’s the one book you always recommend to just about everyone?
Lolita. The Handmaid's Tale. Wuthering Heights. Life of Pi. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. Ok, so I named several.

Is there a book you absolutely love, but for some reason, people never think it sounds interesting, or maybe they read it and don’t like it at all?
Most people don't get Lolita, even though I think it's one of the most exquisite works ever written. A lot of people aren't as into House of Leaves, but I don't rank that one as highly as Lolita.

Do you read books while you eat? While you bathe? While you watch movies or TV? While you listen to music? While you’re on the computer? While you’re having sex? While you’re driving?
Eat: sometimes, depends on what I'm eating. I love to read while eating a bowl of cereal, a delicacy I haven't allowed myself for a long time. Bathing: No, I shower only. Movies or TV: Yes, since I can rarely sit through an entire program without succumbing to boredom. On the computer: Sometimes. Having sex: Um, no. Driving: Not if I'm the driver, duh. I prefer not to die any time soon.

When you were little, did other children tease you about your reading habits?
I don't think so, but I tend to forget unpleasant things. My husband teases me though.

What’s the last thing you stayed up half the night reading because it was so good you couldn’t put it down?
It's been awhile since I've done that. Doesn't matter how good the book is, past a certain time and I'm falling asleep. I'm a morning person.